My son, he's 13. I can't stand him anymore. Every time he talks to me I can't wait for him to stop so I can get away from him. Everthing about him irritates and depresses me.

When he was 6 months he started rocking his head into walls. Doctors said he was fine..

When he was 3 he started acting ADHD, but doctors said "can't diagnose at that age. He's just energetic"

@ 4 he still wasn't potty trained despite 2 years of effort and would try to eat his poop and drink his pee.

@5 he pretended to hang himself in his room and I put him in a psych eval hospital for 3 weeks. THEY said he had ADHD and impulse control disorder the FIRST day. Gave him meds for that - which doped him and sent him home with a standing prescriptions and doc apts for the ucla psych center.

Years of doctors, counselors, special ed teachers, and a few years of meds (I took him off cause they were making him fat and ill looking and not helping) and still no REAL diagnosis or big progress.

Doctors say he doesn't have ADHD because he wacks out on those meds. He doesn't have bipolar because the meds for that cause a diff reaction. He's not autistic or retarded (very smart actually) not aspergers, not ANYTHING anyone can tell me, except "emotionally disturbed" which apparently 8 counselors over 8 years couldn't do squat with.

Now I am still stuck with a kid who pees his pants and doesn't mind sitting in it (and argues that he's done it even though you can SEE it), pushes his poop back in so he doesn't have to "go" smells ALLLL the time, pees behind his bedroom door on his dirty clothes,& runs out of underwear like kleenex!

Trying to get him to fix it or stop or anything is a royal pain in the butt and a battle.

He also "itches" anytime you talk to him, and has to squirm, clear his throat or SOMEthing. He's always having an "ouch" moment.. I think he bumps, bangs, drops and accidentally hurts himself more than a whole floor of psyche patients!

I'm SO INCREDIBLY tired. I don't have the heart anymore for this. I can't give him away obviously (I do still love him) and I don't want him to know how I feel but I don't see myself dealing with him anymore. As it is I feed him, let him read and play and watch movies and hope he doesn't come out of his room too much. I dred him waking up, talking, "ouching" moving, everything!

I feel terrible. and I feel heartless - I used to have so much love and energy

I can't get real help..I have no insurance (for me) I have no money (on the verge of eviction) so can't afford to pay for help nor do I have my own car and there are no buses where I live to get to anything if i could find it. Plus, I have no family here or friends (had to move to a cheaper state)

I do have a husband but he is not the father and doesn't help at all ( financially or raising) plus he has become very needy and dependent as well and can't stay employed So I am stuck with a loser husband, no money and working 18 hrs a day to pay the bills(barely) and take care of everyone. Everyone but ME

I'm on the verge of running away or putting MYSELF in a hospital. Need advice. WHAT does someone like me do?


Answers


Clyde
1988 days ago
This is definitely an amazing story.

Is there a doctor you can tell this all to and see what they say?

I dont see you working 18 hours a day every day, but do admire you for working all the time.

Maybe the husband needs to go, and that will help with your feelings of being used by all?

Best,

Clyde



soo-sooo-tired
1988 days ago
Actually yes I do. I'm up at 7, taking care of my son,and working online with websites and articles and ads, plus homeschooling son (he can't "do" real school as he falls apart and fights to go)I don't stop until about 1 or 2 most mornings. so, maybe not WORK WORK but at least 12 hours online, and the rest doing "have to's"

I really wish there were some pros here with good answers. I think this is all I have. :(

If I could ditch the hubby I would but I can't. He's about the equivalent of another 13 yr old, just bigger and more expensive.

Thanks for your answer.



helper
1986 days ago
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kreuser
1838 days ago
Hello,

Does your son have a habit of trying to hurt himself? This sounds strange, but a few months ago I remember seeing an extremely rare disorder sounding exactly like this. Actually, in the program I was watching, the child would bang his head against walls, etc.

I saw this TV program on TLC or Lifetime, and for the life of me I cannot remember what disorder this is called.



duck
1774 days ago
I highly, highly doubt that you are legitimate. You're likely a troll or spammer.



But, in the remote chance that you really feel this way about your child, you are sick and twisted. Parents love their children, not disdain them for smelling. You could always call social services or DHS and request an evaluation of your son, or you could place him in foster care. Even the foster care system would be better to him (love him) than you are.. if you're not a troll. And, if you have a child and are on the verge of eviction, there is always welfare and housing/food stamps to help you and your (imaginary) son. If you worked 18 hours a day, you'd have money and not be evicted and not have time to make up such elaborate stories.

But, since you're 99.9% likely a troll, stop spreading bogus sob stories. There are people out there with real problems. If, in that .01% chance that you're actually legitimate (which I truly doubt), call social services and/or DHS, and let your (imaginary) child have the life he deserves.. which clearly isn't with you.



strained
1224 days ago
I think who ever this Duck person is , is very cold hearted. I am a single mom of 2 boys and my oldest has ADHD. To be truthful, the child that has adhd is stressing me out to the same point and i have tried many ways to get help as well. You are not a troll just because you are having a hard time with a kid. It's heart breaking when we dont have anywhere else to turn. I am at the same point you are only i am still trying to get help. I have tried going back to school myself to be educated on this, but my son has other plans. I want to get back out and start working again and i am worried my son is going to ruin those plans as well.

My advice with the husband is to ditch him, it is so very hard trying to raise children into adults when we still have a full grown man acting like a child.



danceswthwords
1213 days ago
Hello,

I happened on your post here and I want to let you know you are not alone. Furthermore, my son used to have a lot of very disturbing behaviours, and I felt very much like you do now. I did not find any hope in doctors or therapies (we tried everything available for years) and I was close to trying to find a way to put my son in foster care and commit suicide. It was extremely difficult, every day, with no break. And nobody seemed to be able to relate. I was very alone.

Before I got help my son was diagnosed defiant, ADHD, bipolar, schizophrenic, and more. Now he is diagnosed Aspergers, but he is almost normal. The diagnosis is not important. You think it is because you need answers. But a diagnosis really doesn't give any more answers. What is important is what can help your son. That is what matters. The therapy that helped me was one by Dr. Abram Hoffer. I use niacin (3000mg/ day in 3 divided doses with meals) and vitamin C (same). I use fish oils (1g with meals, 3x a day). I also give other vitamins but these are the main ones. But most important I did this: I removed all wheat, dairy, and sugar, and ever single trace of dyes, processed foods, and gluten.

My son changed the day I started the diet. He became more 'normal'. You can understand more of it by researching Dr. Abram Hoffer, Dr. Yourself.com or my website: http://stone-soup.ca Apparently gluten and dairy and sugar are very inflammatory in the body and cause all kinds of mood issues. They act like opiates in the brains of some people. They caused my son to have rashes, seizures, and tremors, and now he doesn't have them. It is also important to have your son eat every 3 hours. My son gets low blood sugar otherwise and then he gets mood swings.

Many parents, with kids of a variety of disorders, report that this diet works miracles for them. You're at your wit's end. Why not give it a try? It's really hard at first, but once you get the hang of it, it gets easier. And nothing is as hard as living with someone so out of it and trying to make a life like that.

I am thinking of you tonight and sending you a prayer that your son will be healed or that you will find the answers and help you need. It is not possible to live with someone so needy and not feel completely drained all the time. Don't beat yourself up for your inner desires for a more balanced life. Those desires will drive you to find help. Other people judge us so easily when we have children with difficulties. We need to be kind to ourselves and try to find ways to nurture ourselves and remember who we are in difficult times like these. Don't beat yourself up!

In Solidarity,

Nonie