I dated this guy for three years. We've had problems, but we have always been able to work things out.
He dropped out of high school (it was his fifth year-he failed one)and got his GED then dropped out of college after a semester almost went into the military but backed out almost pursued a fireman career but backed out. Last fall he went back to school and successfully finished a semester at NOVA. I was so happy and so proud. I thought he was really turning his life around. He has changed jobs numerous times and sometimes the way he has quit hasn't exactly been appropriate (he just stopped showing up). Although this last job that he has held (surveying firm that his mom works at) he has held for awhile. However, this semester he dropped all but one class. Now he wants to be a fireman again, but what if it doesn't work out? I don't want to be hooked to someone who I'll have to kick in the ass to go to work every day. I don't want to be the "breadwinner". He's 21. He lives at home. He does pay for school, groceries his car etc. He's a great caring, loyal, doting boyfriend. I mean he's amazing in that sense. He is so attentive to things he likes (football, me etc.), but other things like work well he just seems to call in sick so much...I just don't trust him I guess. I don't want to lose him if he is going to turn his life around, but I mean in three years I haven't seen much of a change...what's different about this time? I just need someone who is committed to the things that they don't like to do as well...
Part of me does love him and want to be with him
Another part doesn't want more time to pass by and miss other and better opportunities.
At the same time what if I will never meet anyone that makes me as happy as he made me?
I don't know what to do at all.
He dropped out of high school (it was his fifth year-he failed one)and got his GED then dropped out of college after a semester almost went into the military but backed out almost pursued a fireman career but backed out. Last fall he went back to school and successfully finished a semester at NOVA. I was so happy and so proud. I thought he was really turning his life around. He has changed jobs numerous times and sometimes the way he has quit hasn't exactly been appropriate (he just stopped showing up). Although this last job that he has held (surveying firm that his mom works at) he has held for awhile. However, this semester he dropped all but one class. Now he wants to be a fireman again, but what if it doesn't work out? I don't want to be hooked to someone who I'll have to kick in the ass to go to work every day. I don't want to be the "breadwinner". He's 21. He lives at home. He does pay for school, groceries his car etc. He's a great caring, loyal, doting boyfriend. I mean he's amazing in that sense. He is so attentive to things he likes (football, me etc.), but other things like work well he just seems to call in sick so much...I just don't trust him I guess. I don't want to lose him if he is going to turn his life around, but I mean in three years I haven't seen much of a change...what's different about this time? I just need someone who is committed to the things that they don't like to do as well...
Part of me does love him and want to be with him
Another part doesn't want more time to pass by and miss other and better opportunities.
At the same time what if I will never meet anyone that makes me as happy as he made me?
I don't know what to do at all.
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Answers
i have a friend in this position her b.f is lazy he dropped out of highschool never went back bounces back and forth he promises all the time a bunch of b.s ok now you know that he is like unstable in the working and school communnity right now you been with him for awhile and just a guess he expects u to support him well wht you have to ask yourself is it worth the head ache and all the trouble and will he EVER really change
You will never be truly attracted to the guy who you don't have respect for - whose lifestyle, character and goals you don't admire as this is essential for true, loving relationship.
Remember, you love and want to be with the guy NOT because of how he treats you but mostly because of who he is.
Thanks,
http://www.practicalhappiness.com
Hi Belle. If I were you I would give the relationship a break and take that time to really try and figure out "what" about this relationship makes you "happy." I don't see happiness in what you say. Maybe you feel needed, but then you feel used. You really don't sound like you have much in common, except he is perfectly happy letting you do what he wants and needs you to, and you appear to follow suit.
He isn't going to change without HIS acting and working on himself. I feel you are wasting your time with this relationship, sorry. If you stay with him, you are right, you will never meet someone who makes you happy...
I hope you can find yourself and your reasons for needing this relationship. Living in fear of "what if" is not a good place to be. First things first: this isn't what you want (as I read it.) So get out of it. Then you are open to finding what you do want.
tc
drjean
(((Belle)))
Does this contribute to your drinking? Do you feel by loosening yourself up you may find someone without thinking about your bf?
If you do want to be with him, you have to discuss your feelings with him. You do not have to be the sole "breadwinner," nor the sole anything in a relationship. Relationships work 2 ways, and you need to let him know like you let us know--that you are:
"just need someone who is committed to the things that they don't like to do as well..."
or at least, committed to helping YOU in both of your relationship...its not just you, my friend.
Best,
Clyde