As someone who has BI Polar disorder and has been married before but was in a abusive marriage for 14 years. How does my pat experiences relate to my present fears about dating and sex. The last time I was with someone I shook all over , I don't know if it was fear or what.And I have a hard time asking someone out I am in recovery AA for 2 years now and I don't go to bars ore clubs,about the only social outlet right now and it is really just about recovery but learning to be social and get back into dating should be a part of recovery I will have 2 years at the end of this month and I have had only one date In the almost 4 years I have been divorced and separated. I was working on getting my own life back together This past year I moved from Vet Space Housing into My own Apartment and before that I was living in the salvation army in Ocala Fl, and I was homeless off and on the year before that. So I have been through a lot and My Nero Doctor she said I need Abuse counseling to get past the past so that I can move on in my own life. I have been raped by 3 men before when I was younger and last year when I was living in VOA Housing for homeless veterans I was assaulted by my roommate their. Thats why I have a female roommate now and she is my best friend she moved in here after I did about 2 months later and she has been a blessing to me. She needed a place to live and we are both in recovery so I let her move in and we became good friends. I don't have any male friends. And I don't usually get close to men. I prefer one close female friend and a few male people I know but not as friends. I would like to have more female friends for dating someone that I can get closer to than my Best Friend.I mean a girlfriend, Melissa has been very good to me and she thinks I'm a great guy but we don't date and we have never been sexualy involved its not that kind of a relationship.I know I need to develop more of a intimate relationship My Case Manager at the VA has been encouraging me to ask someone out to a movie and Both she and my Nero Doctor asked me if I didn't have anyone that I could ask to a movie and I said no. I had ton admit that I didn't know anyone. I know I am not bad looking my roommate and other women told me I am handsome but I just don't know what fear is holding me back from the type of relationship that I what I think part of it is thinking that I have all these issues: Bi Polar Disorder,Substance Abuse Recovery, Osteoarthritis in my hip and my back, Sleep Apnea,Brain Injury recovery from brain Tumor Surgery,The Nero Doctor whats to order an MRI/MRA again I had one last December I think it was.She also wants me to complete a sleep study that I canceled because I was too stressed out to do last week. And as I said get Abuse Counseling which I called about and left my number so someone could contact me about the counseling I am attending two other groups I go to a NAMI group which meets once a month and To a Brain Injury support group that meets once a month Tomorrow night DEC 14th they are having their Christmas party and I am going to see if I can meet the people their and the consoler who does the group at Shands Vista here in Gainesville, Fl. So I am seeking out the resources that are in the community and trying to use what is here for my over all recovery The Nero doctor asked if I like the Groups and I told her In really do better one on one but I like going to the AA meetings because of the recovery their and it is really the only place for me to socialize I have been to 1 meeting this week and I have the Christmas party tomorrow night so I will try to go to more meetings later in the week. I am supposed to go with my roommate up to North Carolina with her boyfriend to get The ladies dog that she does private duty CNA duty for she misses her dog and just recently came back down here to her home and has to have someone there A CNA which Melissa hired. I don't really have any plans for Christmas my family is not close. They live in another state and I don't know what my roommate has planed if she is going to go to her boyfriends moms I will be alone but their is A Christmas diner at the Triangle Club where they have AA meetings. It sounds like I am doing a lot but I spend a lot of time at home with the pain and if I take any pain medication I am not driving so I am here a lot alone with the cat he keeps me entertained.n thats about all that I can think of for now to write I will post more when I get some results back of my counseling starts.


Answers


DocJohn
2564 days ago
I think that while the fact you may be grappling with various disorders doesn't really change the fact that dating is hard, especially when you're still hurting from past relationships. Dating with bipolar disorder really challenges the other person to be understanding and be there for you when you need them.

I think it's great that you're making the effort to get out there and get support and help from a variety of sources. All I could say is to encourage you to keep going at it and trying and realize that these things take time.

I'm hoping others will give their two cents about some of the unique challenges they faced in dating and having something like bipolar disorder, too...

Good luck.



Clyde
2563 days ago
Most definitely, it is a great thing that you are trying to get a relationship going. I really wish I could share something about dating with those kinds of disorders, but I don't have any of those.

However, I will say, I admire your stick-to-itness, you appear to be trying very hard, and its easy to see that.

The one good thing to remember about past relationships is that you know that you wouldn't or won't do what happened in previous relationships, so you know certain things which to avoid.

Best of luck!



poorprincess28
1745 days ago
I'm a fellow BP type 2 with anxiety/panic. I struggle with a fear of people. people have hurt me,used me,lied to me and abused me.

keep in your recovery,keep in contact with your doctors and take any medicines they give you.

but the fear of people is hard, sometimes if I let myself I could stay home and never leave,but I force myself to in small doses, I will compliment a total stranger on their blouse or comment about a good purchase. These things lead to smiles and small talk and never lead to friendships but it helps me build my confidence and practice my social skills that right now are hidden behind my fear of people.

embrace your social network and it sounds like you have one.

Do be leary,but no to the point your unable to bond with others.

Sex will come when you find someone you can trust.

take care of yourself first and love who you are.

I am slowly making friends on face book,and I go to the gym and have small talk with people there.

Lots of love and hugs to you.



poorprincess28
1745 days ago
i'm sorry I didnt answer your question did I..oops.

This disorder can affect your relationships if your symptoms are not managed.

if I do not take my medicines I get manic,depressed or beligerent. if I feel cornered I can be verbally abusive unless I take my medicine. so I take my medicine like my life depends on it.

My ex was a rapid cycle and was very verbally abusive to me but he didnt really take his meds and we had a great deal of stress in our lives tearing us apart. but we are the best of friends now.

This disease can be alienating and lonely,theres a stigma with BP that scares people until they learn more about it.

Not only are we capable of love but we love intensley. but its hard to get close to others for fear they will abandon us during a med change or a bad day. Its hard,I am a mild BP and I thank my maker for that . But I am scared to tell potential friends or love interests I have it for fear they will run. there is a lot of bad myths about us and a few BP's can ruin it for the rest of us.

Bipolar is not a curse its a blessing. You are an intelligent,creative,emotional person. You have a lot to offer to someone else,you can help them see the world in a whole new and beautiful way. You can add depth to their life.

The medicines manage the moods which can negatively affect any relationship and the rest is up to you. I don't know you but know that I love you and I am very proud of you for coming so far while dealing with so much.

(((big hug)))



servant1
835 days ago
TOO EASY AS GOD TO SAVE YOU FROM YOU SINS, AND WHAT WITH HIM FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE , YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. YOU TRY EVERYTHING , TRY JESUS, NOT PEOPLE, JESUS. DON'T OD WHAT I SAY DO WHAT GOD WORDS SAY, THEN I KNOW YOU WILL MORE THAN OK.PEACE ALWAYS