As someone who has BI Polar disorder and has been married before but was in a abusive marriage for 14 years. How does my pat experiences relate to my present fears about dating and sex. The last time I was with someone I shook all over , I don't know if it was fear or what.And I have a hard time asking someone out I am in recovery AA for 2 years now and I don't go to bars ore clubs,about the only social outlet right now and it is really just about recovery but learning to be social and get back into dating should be a part of recovery I will have 2 years at the end of this month and I have had only one date In the almost 4 years I have been divorced and separated. I was working on getting my own life back together This past year I moved from Vet Space Housing into My own Apartment and before that I was living in the salvation army in Ocala Fl, and I was homeless off and on the year before that. So I have been through a lot and My Nero Doctor she said I need Abuse counseling to get past the past so that I can move on in my own life. I have been raped by 3 men before when I was younger and last year when I was living in VOA Housing for homeless veterans I was assaulted by my roommate their. Thats why I have a female roommate now and she is my best friend she moved in here after I did about 2 months later and she has been a blessing to me. She needed a place to live and we are both in recovery so I let her move in and we became good friends. I don't have any male friends. And I don't usually get close to men. I prefer one close female friend and a few male people I know but not as friends. I would like to have more female friends for dating someone that I can get closer to than my Best Friend.I mean a girlfriend, Melissa has been very good to me and she thinks I'm a great guy but we don't date and we have never been sexualy involved its not that kind of a relationship.I know I need to develop more of a intimate relationship My Case Manager at the VA has been encouraging me to ask someone out to a movie and Both she and my Nero Doctor asked me if I didn't have anyone that I could ask to a movie and I said no. I had ton admit that I didn't know anyone. I know I am not bad looking my roommate and other women told me I am handsome but I just don't know what fear is holding me back from the type of relationship that I what I think part of it is thinking that I have all these issues: Bi Polar Disorder,Substance Abuse Recovery, Osteoarthritis in my hip and my back, Sleep Apnea,Brain Injury recovery from brain Tumor Surgery,The Nero Doctor whats to order an MRI/MRA again I had one last December I think it was.She also wants me to complete a sleep study that I canceled because I was too stressed out to do last week. And as I said get Abuse Counseling which I called about and left my number so someone could contact me about the counseling I am attending two other groups I go to a NAMI group which meets once a month and To a Brain Injury support group that meets once a month Tomorrow night DEC 14th they are having their Christmas party and I am going to see if I can meet the people their and the consoler who does the group at Shands Vista here in Gainesville, Fl. So I am seeking out the resources that are in the community and trying to use what is here for my over all recovery The Nero doctor asked if I like the Groups and I told her In really do better one on one but I like going to the AA meetings because of the recovery their and it is really the only place for me to socialize I have been to 1 meeting this week and I have the Christmas party tomorrow night so I will try to go to more meetings later in the week. I am supposed to go with my roommate up to North Carolina with her boyfriend to get The ladies dog that she does private duty CNA duty for she misses her dog and just recently came back down here to her home and has to have someone there A CNA which Melissa hired. I don't really have any plans for Christmas my family is not close. They live in another state and I don't know what my roommate has planed if she is going to go to her boyfriends moms I will be alone but their is A Christmas diner at the Triangle Club where they have AA meetings. It sounds like I am doing a lot but I spend a lot of time at home with the pain and if I take any pain medication I am not driving so I am here a lot alone with the cat he keeps me entertained.n thats about all that I can think of for now to write I will post more when I get some results back of my counseling starts.