I don't know what I did wrong...
Am an Asian girl and hubby an American. We have been married for 8 years. Everything was fine until two year ago, my husband had an affair with our maid, and I fired the maid, but forgave him because we have 2 small kids together. But since then I had a hard time to trust him again, but this past 6 months, I began to trust him again.
2 days ago I caught him talking intimately with a girl on his cell phone. He denied it but admitted after I told him what exactly he said on the phone to her.
I was hurt and don’t know what to do, I told him that I want a divorce, he was crying (again) and said still love me and the kids, he just wanted a romance only but will never his family. And he said, he will not contact that girl anymore but it's very hard to believe because he always to her country every 4 months for biz trip.
I want to save our marriage because I can't see my kids grow up without a father but I can't or hard to trust him again. What should I do?
Pls. help me.
Am an Asian girl and hubby an American. We have been married for 8 years. Everything was fine until two year ago, my husband had an affair with our maid, and I fired the maid, but forgave him because we have 2 small kids together. But since then I had a hard time to trust him again, but this past 6 months, I began to trust him again.
2 days ago I caught him talking intimately with a girl on his cell phone. He denied it but admitted after I told him what exactly he said on the phone to her.
I was hurt and don’t know what to do, I told him that I want a divorce, he was crying (again) and said still love me and the kids, he just wanted a romance only but will never his family. And he said, he will not contact that girl anymore but it's very hard to believe because he always to her country every 4 months for biz trip.
I want to save our marriage because I can't see my kids grow up without a father but I can't or hard to trust him again. What should I do?
Pls. help me.
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Answers
I dont see a thing you did wrong. I think perhaps that seeking couples therapy would be a good thing to do? I would definitely tell him that if (and maybe do it now) I caught him cheating again (or presently) I would kick him out or move out myself. You deserve to be happy too.
I know you dont want to mess up what family you all have, but you need to be happy as well, and how happy would your kids be, knowing their dad isnt interested in their mother but wants someone else?
Please seek counseling as soon as possible. I really hope it helps, cause I can tell you are trying, I just think he isnt, and I worry about you holding on to him.
Hi Clyde,
Thanks very much for your answer, I really appreciate it. I can't talk to my family or his family because his mother dying and I don't want she hate him.
For the sake of my kids, I forgave him again but I told him that if I caught him cheating again, I will leave him and take the kids.
As per our agreement, he created a letter that if we are separate or divorce, I will take the kids, and he will pay for their education until they are graduate.
I hope I made the right decision. Wish me luck.
Regards, Anna
Anna,
Of course I wish you the best of luck. I just hope he becomes worthy of you.
I hope his mom gets to feeling better also, and at least I wish for her peace.
Good luck Anna!