I was wondering if you could tell me if something was my fault. I'm 16 and I had a guy friend that was a couple of years older than me. I knew him from church so naive as I was I trusted him. I thought that because he was a Christian that he would be respectful and kind to me, but like I said I was naive. So at first we just wrestled and were playful like that. I had never gotten that much attention before so I ate it up. He was always talking about how guys should respect girls and wait until after marriage to sleep with them so that made me trust him even more. I got to know him for a few months and I got really comfortable around him so I invited him over to my house to hang out in the basement. It was nighttime but my parents were just upstairs and I trusted him so I saw no problem with this. There was a pull out bed down there that I went to sit on and he followed me. He started tickling me like always but this time he said, "you're ticklish everywhere aren't you?" then he proceeded to stick his hands under my shirt and 'tickle' me very inappropriately. It made me extremely uncomfortable but I never moved or told him to stop. He was friends with all of my other friends and I knew I was going to see him a lot, so I was scared about how things would change, and honestly I felt like I couldn't talk at all anyway. It happened again in his car except it was worse, then I made sure to never be alone with him after that. But I feel so guilty that it's consuming me. Because I feel like it's my fault because I never told him to stop, I never even moved. And I am so angry at him for going against everything he said but I'm so much more furious with myself for letting it happen. I can't bear for anyone to touch me now, especially on my stomach. And I feel like I'm overreacting because there are people who have actually been raped and I am whining over just being touched too much. I feel terrible and scared. I don't understand the scared part but every time I see him at school I can't breathe exactly right and I feel a horrible urge to run away. Please don't be afraid to tell me if this is my fault. I deserve the punishment for my actions. Thank you for reading this, I just wanted to tell someone.
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