Avatar Posted by sterlinger 145 days ago (Question)
My dog was lost on Friday night...I called my boyfriend who lives 50minutes away and asked him if he would come to my house to help me look for him...he told me that my dog would come back and that he had just picked his kids 7 & 9yrs up and that he could not. The next day my dog was still missing and he still did not offer to come to help me look..or to put flyers around the neighborhood with me. He did post two listings on craigslist from his house. This is the third time I have had a emergency situation with my dogs where I have asked for him to be by my side and he has not come to be with me...He said..."I know things will be ok..." and then he did not come. He told me tonight that he knew my dog would come home and that everything would work out....I do not feel that this is the point...I feel that that point is that I asked for him to be by my side and he gave me what HE WANTED...not want --I-- had asked for from him... In the first instance he came over the next late afternoon. Please Advise.


Answers

Written by Edahn 145 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I dunno. Lets look at it from his side. This is the third time this has happened; he lives an hour away; he has 2 young girls to take care of. What did you want him there for, exactly? To be with you and comfort you? How did you want him to help?

Is it possible that you're taking this a little too personally? The way I see it, you're taking a situation about your dogs and making it about YOU and YOUR NEEDS. To him, this is probably still just about dogs, and they're your dogs, not his. It makes sense, given your situation and his situation that he would post an ad on Craigslist.

I think it would help you to not make this about you and not make this into a test for him. If you keep pitting his needs against yours, you're going to create a lot of conflict for the both of you. It would be better, in my opinion, to try and relax and remind yourself that everything is okay and that your relationship is cool, even if he doesn't rush out on your request.

That's my opinion.

Written by Clyde 145 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I agree. If he lives an hour away, it may be a little too much to ask for, especially over and over.

If it happened one time, and one time only, I would probably say yes.

Is there a way to better keep the dog around?

If not, you may lose the boyfriend. I could see if he was like 5-15 minutes away or so, and didn't have to drag the kids around everywhere, but it does take a lot of effort to do that just for a dog to possibly just come right back.

Best,

Clyde

Written by tlsanders 144 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Children trump girlfriend. Even girlfriend with problem.

Written by JoyLynn 139 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

You have a chronic problem with your dogs. You need to resolve it, but apparently your dogs aren't important enough to motivate you to do that.

Since the dogs aren't that important to you (as shown by your behavior), why would you expect your BF to come running because they're out?


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