I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months, we both discuss marriage and know that it's in our future. But no matter what i do, i feel like my attraction to so many other men is terrible. i feel like i maybe wasn't meant to be in just one relationship, because i can admit that i'm selfish. i want everything. But mostly, i just want sexual relations with other men. I used to think it was the fact that i wanted what i couldn't have, but it's beyond that. Even worse, i don't want to stop. i feel like if i get the chance, i will sleep with one of these guys that i think about. One is my co-worker, there's an age difference of about 10 years, but the attraction to him is so unbearable that i don't know what to do. There's also another man that i will always feel like i should've been with. I stood by his side playing the friend role for over a year, just for him to join the military and walk away. he's been in the military for about 6 months, and i just found out that he's wanted me all along. I've always believed that if you feel a certain way about someone else, to tell them. But he was the only one i couldn't tell. I fantasize about him too. I NEVER think sexually about my boyfried, i just don't desire him in that way. But i'm constantly thinking about the kind of sex i could have with the other men. Help me?


Answers


bella
1922 days ago
If you don't think about your boyfriend in a sexual way, then I don't think you should be with him and certainly don't discuss marriage with him. Since I don't know you, I can't specualate if this is the beginning of a sexual addiction or not. I think you need to be honest and tell you BF. Then you should perhaps pursue relationships where you have an agreement that they won't be serious and that you need to experiment with other men. Just make sure you're not hurting anyone by getting involved with married or attached men.

I think it's normal to fantasize but not act on them, if you're in a committed relationship. The way you describe it's unbearable - I think this is a good indicator that you don't want to be in a monogamous relationship with this BF. If you do decide to end this relationship and experiment - then make sure you practice safe sex and don't hurt anyone. Remember there's also self pleasure as well. It would be wrong to encourage any discussion of marriage. Best of luck to you.



zanzivar
1921 days ago
Arielsteele, You're probably not very attracted to your boyfriend sexually at all but want him on another level. Now, I'm not the best person to give you advice in this line because I am a cheater myself and yes, I do desire other men as well....badly! It's as if I just love men and I get frustrated at the laws of marriage and would just love to break out and pick out all those I fancy for one night! That would keep me satisfied. I'm fed up of fantasies and want to experience the real thing. Even yesterday I fancied one of the priests at my brother's funeral! Oh, God, I'm terrible! I was nearly swooning when he was talking to me!

I don't know... I think it's a sign that you are good and healthy and isn't it better to be feeling that way anyway than hating men. If I were you, I'd be inclined to test out the waters anyway. Why not? You're not in a very heavy relationship yet so maybe you should experiment for a bit.

Zanzivar.



Clyde
1920 days ago
I agree with Bella, it definitely is one thing to fantasize about someone, especially if you are in a committed relationship, but to act on them is a different thing.

Please practice safe behaviors--sexually, physically and mentally.

Best,

Clyde