Avatar Posted by jsene 37 days ago (Question)
I met a guy while I was home over the summer (I go to school far away and go home summer and holidays) who goes to university in my hometown. I had a crush on him from the start, but I just found out when I last went home that he likes me too!

I told him how I felt after I got back to university and he said some ambiguous things, and now I don't know where we stand and how he feels, and I can't stop thinking about him!


Answers

Written by NOC 37 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

So as soon as I get a crush on anyone, I start acting very strangely: avoiding them, trying to make it seem like i don't like them. I don't know why, its some sort of gut reaction self-preservation since if I don't like people then I can't get hurt. Its something I really can't control and its just so instinctual for me. And especially in this specific case, I try to never get close to people when i'm home because I know I have to leave for most of the year and I won't be able to see them. So the whole summer I was pretty much doing this, acting nicely but very distantly towards B - I'd make sure he'd come out with us but always get other people to ask him out, etc.

Well, Are you scared to make a fool of yourself against him. We can be so mean to ourselves sometimes – “I’m a loser,” “I’m boring,” “I’m stupid” – things we would never say to someone we love, we say to ourselves without a second thought. When it comes to overcoming shyness, this type of thinking needs to change.

I don't have any answers, and I don't know how to go about getting them. Should I just completely try to stop thinking about him and put it all out of my head, or should I try talking to him again? I don't want to seem like a crazy obsessive, overreactive girl, and I really don't want him to think I expected him to start a relationship after I told him how I felt. I JUST WANT ANSWERS FOR GODS SAKE!! It's actually driving me crazy.

It is good not to use the word God in vain. What I've learned from plenty years of talking to people is that if they think your a waist of time they will reject you. Howver, if you really like him just talk to him about it, seduce him, and don't let him dominate you. If he does not like you, go with your friend F.

I'm pretty good with accepting things that are concrete - what I really can't handle is not knowing things and not being sure. I would be fine accepting whatever he wants or does not want to do, what I can't accept is not knowing.

So this has been really bothering me and I haven't been able to get him off my mind. I am not expecting anything from him, I think it would be a longshot to expect him to want to start long distance, and I'm suspicious that he didn't say he liked me. I just want him to say anything: "I don't really think it's worth long distance", or "I thought I liked you but I don't really anymore", or "I want to try a relationship", or anything as long as its concrete.

If you want him off your mind, you have to get occupied with something. Try to make him jealous. If you want a relationship, do your best. If he rejects you, whatever.

Written by dusky1 37 days ago - Show / Hide this answer Rating: -1 | Rate Answer: + -

Written by Clyde 37 days ago Rating: 1 | Rate Answer: + -

I dont think switching schools is necessarily the answer.

But I would recommend trying to hook up with him, at least let him know you are interested.

Enjoy the bits in life you can, because it is way too short anyways.

Best,

Clyde


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