Avatar Posted by asherz892 84 days ago (Question)
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year now. We have a lot of little fights over little stuff but in reality its because of bigger things that have just been put off. I feel like I can't talk to him about anything because when I try to sit down with him and talk about our problems he tends to get mad at me and I get really upset because I feel like he's not listening and he tends oto just drop it and try to move on as is, which doesn't work because in the end it just leaves us both on the edge. Also whenever I get emotional and start to cry he likes to tell me I'm acting like a 2 year old (which is telling me I'm immature indirectly which he says isn't true) and it really hurts because I get upset and sometimes the things I cry over are stupid, but sometimes they're serious and he needs to listen and take me seriously. Just because I'm emotional doesn't mean that I'm immature, it means that I care. How am I supposed to sit down and talk to himabout our problems without him getting mad, and how am I supposed to work through my emotions with him? I feel like if we don't sit down and talk that this is never gonna work out cause our communication is just so screwed up. Please help I love him with all my heart and would do anything to make everything like it used to be!


Answers


bella
84 days ago
Hi - I'm sorry you're frustrated. A good tool to use when settling issues or problems is having some guidelines. Often I give this fighting fairly link, because most couples / people don't know how to fight fairly. The key is, both of you need to agree and abide by the rules.

Many men get frustrated and don't know what to do when their partner cries. It sounds like he avoids confrontation and when he does respond, it ends up negative. Another good thing is to take an agreed break when it seems both have reached a dead end.....rather than him ending up mad and you crying.

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd/2011/01/how-to-fight-fair-simple-rules-for-politicians-teachers-kids-and-relationships/
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asherz892
84 days ago
Thank you so much that helps me out a lot, especially seeing that article. I feel like fighting fair is something we never do, and I feel like he gets overly frustrated with me anymore so I hope that I can get through to him.
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