I'm currently dating a very nice young man whom I met through my work at a garden center. He's the perfect gentleman, goes to church, is involved in the local music industry and is a very skilled gardener. But before we began dating he was fired from the garden centre because his neighbours had complained that he was working in a child friendly atmosphere. Thus the rumor mill at work started and some one googled him to find that he had been charged for having two pornographic videos of children and a couple of photos on his laptop two and a half years ago.
This came as a complete surprise to me, mainly because he seemed like the first genuinely good guy that I had been attracted to in years! Before all of this had happened people in my work had been trying to set us up as well. So I asked him about it and completely came clean about the whole thing and promised me that he was going to tell me before we went on a date or anything anyway because he's legally obligated to tell his probation officer everything he does and would have to inform me of his transgressions before dating me.
We talked about it a couple of times and told me about how he's been to counselling for two years and is a completely different person now and completely and utterly regrets downloading them because they've ruined his life and is constantly trying to make up for it everyday. He said that he looked them up out of pure curiousity and they completely sickened him and didn't do it for sexual gratification. And it says this in his court statement as well, which makes me want to believe him.
I've currently been going through some difficult emotional issues on my own due to a long history of depression and today his officer came by just to have a chat with me about him and to make sure that I knew the whole story, which I do. But the whole thing has left a bad taste in my mouth and maybe it's just because it's much more real now. I know he's a great guy now, but I'm worried about whether or not he might have thoughts that he just suppresses out of training with psychologists or if he genuinely does not and has not ever felt that way towards children. I'm only 21 and certainly don't have children of my own or any relatives or friends that do have young children so I know he isn't getting close to me for any horrible reason like that and I think I'm falling in love with him. He's extremely caring and supportive and has helped me immensely through a very tough emotional time for me and stayed my friend even though I broke it off with him for a couple of weeks while I tried to get better because I didn't want to be distracted from getting better. And was supportive and stayed a great friend throughout that time.
Is this morally acceptable? I've always believed that people deserve second chances and while he did look at those things he's never had a sexual relationship of any kind before and was bullied as a kid so perhaps it might be an emotional issue from his childhood? I will be talking to him about it regardless but I felt like I needed an outsiders opinion to help me get my bearings straight.
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