I'm 20 years old, female. I have BPD and always ruin my relationships. I get really paranoid and start accusing him of cheating, lying, wanting to leave me, etc. Even though I have no proof, other than just a "gut feeling." Then I regret it the next day and wind up apologizing profusely. I call, text, email, IM, voice mail, etc. When he ignores me, I get angry and say mean things again. Then I cry and apologize, get angry, apologize, get angry, etc... Pathetic, I know. Then he usually just winds up blocking my phone/email all together.
I've only been in 2 serious relationships. The other ones I ruined before we ever had a chance to become serious. I guess what I'd like to know is, what advice would you give me for dating? How long should I wait before warning him about my "temper tantrums?" Any tips for helping me resist the impulse to push him away with accusations? Signs that he is/isn't right?
I've also been diagnosed with bipolar II, but I'm starting to feel like my bipolar symptoms are actually due to BPD.
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