Avatar Posted by weesuzz 49 days ago (Question)
I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years, we live together and we have spoken about getting married. Recently he told me that he loves his mother more than me. I was really hurt by this, but I wasn't sure if this was normal and I am just over reacting? My boyfriend is the most important person in my life and I love him more than anyone and I guess that's why I found his comment really hard to take. But after he told me this, things started to make sense as there have been several situations which have made me question whether he even loves me at all: I lost my father at the start of the year and I am finding it very difficult to come to terms with, I really needed someone to support me but he didn't, any time I was upset he would either ignore me, walk out the room or change the subject when all I really needed was a hug, I just got the feeling that he couldn't be bothered with me. I really need someone to tell me if I am being completely over the top or if I need to speak to him about this, I keep getting feelings that our relationship isn't working and I don't know what to do?


Answers

Written by conjohnlevay 47 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I'm so sorry you feel the way you do. It's hard when men don't seem to understand us. I am in a similar situation. My man has told me that he loves his kids more than me, which is normal, but it still always makes me feel second-best. I often feel that I'm not a priority in his life at all, or at the very least, at the bottom of the list. I lost my mother a few months ago, and although my man was there with me to support me at the time, he doesn't seem to understand that I'm not done grieving. I think your man walks away and ignores the subject because he doesn't know how to deal with it. He doesn't know what to say, so he runs. That's a pretty typical male reaction, I think. The best thing for you to do is to talk to him about how you feel. Try not to put him on the defensive but just express how you feel. When I tell my man that "we need to talk", he knows it's something serious and he'll usually listen to me. Even though we've had a lot of problems and still do, I know he doesn't want to lose me, so he'll listen to what I have to say. Please try. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Written by Clyde 45 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I would definitely not put all men in one convenient box, however; this one could close the lid in that box.

I would definitely talk to him how you are feeling. While I can understand he loves his Mom--he should NEVER tell you he loves her more than you. That is kinda counterproductive to the whole relationship issue.

I hope he will listen to you.

Best,

Clyde


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