I've never done this before so please bare with me. I've known this guy about 7 years ago and I really considered him as a brother and was never attracted to him until 2 years ago. He is older than me by 3 years but I always knew that he liked me, everyone from our friends knew it but i never considered it because I could never of imagined myself with him until up to 2 years ago where I feel madly in love with him. I actually fell in love with his personality, in some ways he made me fall in love with him because he would always say the right thing, and always do the right thing. With time my feelings grew stronger and his too. Hwoever the only problem was that we lived in two different countries, I was still living in my hometown which is his as well but he went off to university so we were sepearted for quite some time but he would always take the plane for the weekend and surprise me sometimes. Our relationship lasted 8 months. He was the first man I ever fell in love with. Unfortunately he broke up with me the week of my birthday and his excuse was that he loved me too much that the distance was killing him, he told me that he was only living for me and that nothing else in the world mattered to him anymore and that was scaring him he said he had to get his shit together. I couldn't realise it at the moment because I was so shocked but with time I accepted it until we met again during summer since we have the same friends. That was the worst summer of my life because we would spend 24/7 together not being able to kiss him, touch him feel him and it was killing me and I felt it was killing him too and one night we slept together even though we were not a couple but nothing happened, I wanted to kiss him so bad but he pushed me away saying he was scared feelings would come again and that he respected me too much to hurt me again. Later on he told me that he had mixed feelings and that he didn't know what to do about them, I thought he was talking about me but funny thing is it turns out he was takling about my best friend of 15 years. Everyone told me things were going on between them but i jsut couldn't believe them because i could of never imagined she'd do something like that to me, until the day I saw them together in the car. I will never forget that day. anyways so I decided to leave my home, start a new life in a new country and finish my studies, I was all good for about 1 month until he came back talking to me saying he missed me. I don't understand how he has the guts to be with her while talking to me saying he misses me. the thing is I think i never stoped loving him because until now I can't stop thinking about him and its been exactky 8 months that were not togethr anymore. I don't know if hes playing with me or with her. He also tells me that he can't lose me that he still cares too much about me and that he needs me in his life but i jsut don't understand why he would say all of this if he is with her normally he should be happy because he chose to be with her against everything. I am stuck in a situtation where I still have feelings for my ex and so I push people away now because i've been hurt so much and i deserve to be happy but all i think about are the moments we had together, how happy i was. I don't know what to do. I tried to talk to him to make him feel guilty and i felt that he sill had feelings for me too just by the way he told me things and by reminiscing the past.
I really need your help and tell me what you think please be honest.
Notice: Psych Central Answers shut down to new questions on January 11, 2013.
Looking for a place to ask your question? Sign up today for our community (you'll need a separate account than the one you use here), and ask away!
Ask and answer questions about mental health and relationship issues in a safe & supportive environment. If you ask a question, you will have to answer someone else's first, in order to give back to others here.