Avatar Posted by nkendall 28 days ago (Question)
Ok- my ex fiance came to me crying and hurt that he has been with someone else, and they had sex. He said he was very sorry for it and loves me , wants life with me. He went back to his hometown, and she kept calling him and cut herself, he says she is his friend and feels sorry for her. He kept coming to me, and tellin her he loves me.. she kept buggin him and determined to be with him, They kept having sex.. he told about it. .and all this has made me very mental and tramatized as I am in love with him. I am in therapy over this, and I hate to give power to this. Its like he wants both, i dont know.. but if he really loved me, he would drop her and make it work with me. I am so done. There is nuthing I can do,, he has to do it all. I just wish he would keep me out of it, and I told him so. She is not stable, and really I no I am doing better than him. I am not corresponding with him anymore. I don't Know how a person can hurt someone they love like that. I wonder if he is narcistic, not really able to empathize.. i dont know. Feels that way. Feels like he is selfish and wants things his way for him only. I dont know. I am working on clearing him from my heart.


Answers

Written by JunieBeatrice 27 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi. I am not sure what the question is, but it sounds like a difficult situation, as matters of the heart usually are. It seems like you know what you are doing, by not being with him, is the right thing for you, but you miss him and love him and so you second guess yourself. I am glad you are getting some therapy which can help you see things clearly and also know that you are worth having a caring loving relationship with someone where they do not cheat on you. No one can know if he is naracisstic or what without him being analyzed by a professional. The important thing is for you to keep going to therapy as long as you need to work though this, give yourself some self-care and know that we are here to listen if you want to talk more. All my best Junie

Written by nkendall 21 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Thank you.. im working thru.. its just the loneliness and thoughts of him being happy sharing life with her.. its hard.. hope you are doing well...

Written by Chemar 27 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I think you are wise at helping yourself get over him.

sorry to hear he hurt you this way but better you learned this now than after getting married.

the fact that he would put this other woman's feelings ahead of yours speaks volumes IMHO.

I hope you will find someone who will appreciate you and value your feelings

Written by Aneohoh 27 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Tell him to go fly a kite.

If he's cheating on you before the marriage, what do you thinkhe will do after you are married....or worse, married with kids?

Don't be a victim...dump him...no matter how much it hurts. You will be amazed who you will meet afterwards....someone deserving of you.

Written by Clyde 25 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I think you are starting to do well. You definitely can realize that being away from him will be the best thing to do, as he is using you.

Dump him and find someone who cares about all of you, just not between your legs.

Best,

Clyde

Written by nkendall 21 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

u are so right.. as always Clyde.. your wisdom is awesome. thank you, thank you, thank you.. this has damaged my self esteem and i hate thinking of being lonely and him being happy.. but i really dont think its true happiness.. his true colors showing.


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