Avatar Posted by rturner14 47 days ago (Question)
Okay, so, I like this guy, ALOT, but he just started going out with this girl that is comepletely not even his type. Whenever I see him we always seem to make really deep eye contact and we seem to have a good connection. We have many things in common, and yet, he's going out with this stupid girl. Why?


Answers

Written by bellacutie 47 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

You sound very young. Let me advise you with some good life guideliness - you don't want to pursue a man who already has a girlfriend even if he is your type. Imagine if you were in her shoes - how would you feel if someone said that about you? Maybe she has a wonderful personality. I think women should stick together and support each other instead of criticizing and sabotaging each others relationships. Try to be a kind responsible person in life. Good luck.

Written by series0 46 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hello rturner14!

If you are asking why he is going out with some other girl and saying she isnt even his type, is that because you are just so romantically convinced that YOU are his type? And since she isnt YOU or maybe even like YOU then it must be some deep mystery?

You sound like a classic tragic-romantic. If so then I can offer you this advice which you will never take. Stop living in the dreamworld. Get your mind off the ideal future you envision with this guy. Stop dwelling on the past times you've seen him with other women. Focus! Focus! That's right focus! Look down at your hand and say to yourself, "this is my hand right now." Then look up and realize " is with another girl. I should pay attention and find a guy who is looking at me the way I look at " Then bother to look deeper at this new guy. Come out of fantasy land and make yourself look for admirable qualities in this guy who DOES like you right now. Then help him and yourself take steps back into your dream world together.

I feel your type might also perversely devalue any guy who is dreamy about you. This comes from deep seated insecurity about yourself. You then sabotage what could turn out to be a wonderful relationship. It's more compelling and real somehow to experience artistic highs and lows than it is to pay attention and work at being present.

These tragic romantic notions may keep you on your roller-coaster of emotion, but, every roller-coaster has to start its life in a firm foundation and secure scaffolding. Get that part down first. Even though its boring. Then build your roller-coaster.

Regardless, good luck!

Written by Clyde 45 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I would not recommend pursuing this guy until he is single again. However; that being said, you mention that you and he have this connection--what kind is that?

I dont mean this mean, but if he felt as strong as you did about it, why is he dating this other girl?

Best,

Clyde


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