Avatar Posted by clw 1656 days ago (Question)
I met my bf a year ago - he immediatly moved in with me. He has had 3 jobs in the last year and is now unemployed. He is helpful around the house but as far as rent and utilities - he rarely meets me half way. I feel bad for him but I know that I need to do what is best for me. I want to ask him to move out. He can live with his parents -so it's not like I'm putting him in the street.

I need some advice on how to do this. It will be a break-up as well as I really think I deserve better.

thank you


Answers


Edahn
1656 days ago
Speak from your heart and tell him how you feel things have gone in the gentlest way you can, without leaving any ambiguities unresolved. I would probably do it something like this:

- tell him you have to have a talk about the way things have been going

- tell him the things you have truly enjoyed and learned from him

- tell him where the relationship is lacking without putting him down or blaming him, as best you can; you can say that living with him has made you come to the conclusion that you don't feel like you're a good match anymore; decide in advance how much you're going to reveal about your disappointments based on what you think he's entitled to know and what will lead to the easiest transition for you both

- hear him out, tell him you're sorry this is how it had to turn out, but that you can't change your feelings and you're not going to reconsider at this point

- be prepared to discuss the future of your relationship (will you be friends? will you consider that as a possibility?)

- discuss the logistics of him moving out, what you expect of him, and give him some dates by which you would like him to have his stuff moved out (maybe he moves out the next day and has his stuff moved out by the weekend)

Hope this helps,

Edahn
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Clyde
1648 days ago
Do as Edahn says...

Or just come out and tell him. You cant live like this forever, can you?

Best,

Clyde
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