I have been in a relationship with my husband for 12 years. It has been a rough relationship, but being married with two beautiful kids, one on the way, I thought we should always keep working on our marraige. Instead, he has decided to leave and given up. We still have to live in the same house, and it is killing me. We are doing it till we sell the house and waiting for our third child to be born. I don't know how to seperate emotionally...and i need to for my own personal well-being. It is sooooo hard. I'm pregnant with second child and love him so much, but he does not want to be with me anymore. He has lied, decieved me and gone on vacations without me. He is definitely emotionally detached. How do I do this when I wasn't the one that asked for it?


Answers


bella
1923 days ago
I can understand how you must be in tremendous pain. I am in a similar situation, still living in the same house(separate bedrooms) for financial reasons. If you want to read my story just click on my name.

Is your husband cheating on you? This must be doubly discouraging since you're pregnant at the moment. What reason does he give for wanting out of the marriage? For me it's been 3 yrs. and all I can tell you is it's normal to go through many different emotions. Once you go through the emotions, you will eventually settle into final acceptance that the marriage is over. Are you absolutely sure he wants out?

For me I immediately didn't want my husband once I found out. I'm anxious for him to leave so I can move on with my life. Once I realized the choices he made, it changed how I felt about him. In the last 3yrs I have gone through every emotion you can think of, especially anger. At the present moment we are civil and respectful to each other. Since this has dragged on so long, now I'm starting to feel indifference towards him, which isn't good.

My advice to you is make sure he's 100% done with the marriage - if not then get into marriage counselling. If he is done then it's important to separate ASAP as long as it won't put financial strain on both of you. I think you should try to put your emotions on hold, until the baby is born because stress is bad for you and your baby.

I would also recommend once you split to keep relations civil for the children and your sake. Always try to separate your differences, from the fact that your children still need to see their father - keep them out of the battle ground. Having this kind of attitude will also help you not to become a 'bitter ex wife' full of anger. I always use the famous example of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis - how they remained friends even though each has remarried.

I think that you should get into counselling for yourself to cope with your emotions. If he wants a divorce make sure you get what you deserve, but be fair. Perhaps the 2 of you can agree with most things so you won't need to spend alot of money on lawyers. I know your heart is aching right now. I wish you all the strength in getting through this and good luck with your new edition. Hugs, Bella.



Clyde
1908 days ago
I can definitely understand your frustration and depression with what is going on.

I think you should not be living together, especially if you are separated.

I know you want him to stay with you, but it sounds like he is just being opportunistic with you.

Going to counseling would indeed be a good recommendation for you, and hopefully you both can go.

Best,

Clyde