How do you cope with the remorse of cheating with your best friend's boyfriend? Over 7 years ago I cheated with my best friend's boyfriend while she was away in rehab. It was only one time, and I never wanted a relationship out of it. After my best friend of 2 years was sent to rehab, I was told I would never see her again. One stupid night, I asked her boyfriend at the time to get me and a friend alcohol and come over to hang out. We reminissed about how much we missed her, as we began to drink. As the night went on, he made several passes at me. I fended him off a few times, before ultimately giving into the unthinkable. After the night was over, he left and we vowed never to speak of it again. To be honest, I don't really remember how I felt afterward. Obviously, I was ashamed, but I cannot even recall how I dealt with it at the time. As time went on, my friend returned from rehab and we went on as best friends. She remained with the guy for several more years...he was the love of her life. Then, she found out he had been cheating on her with several different women, some while she was in rehab and others more recently (one being another friend of ours). It killed me to see her go through that breakup. To be the one to console her about her cheating boyfriend, knowing I too had been part of the crime. Seeing the hurt she went through, knowing I had caused part of it, but not able to tell her or really even be there for her becasue of my own guilt. Wondering when he would break down and tell her the truth about us. The thought of losing my best friend was unbareable. But somehow she never found out. I supressed any memory I had left of that horrible night and tried to move on...and somehow we did. Time went by, I didn't think about it as much, we grew older, wiser, and closer. Sometimes it would pop into my consciousness at the mention of cheating or a trustworthy friend, but for the most part, I learned to deal with it by pretending it never happenned. Now, over 7 years later things started to change between us. We weren't hanging out like we used to, there was definately some sort of disconnection between us, but I couldn't figure out what. Then I got that call. She told me she had known for the last 2 months. Apparently, her ex had tried to get back into her life recently and wound up telling her the truth about him and I having sex 7 years ago. Unbelievably, she still wanted to save our friendship. She's an amazing person and somehow found it in her heart to "forgive" me and try to move with our friendship. But now I am having to cope with the pain of knowing I had caused her so much suffering. It was one thing to deal with it on my own, but the moment I found out she knew was like a knife right in my heart.
Notice: Psych Central Answers shut down to new questions on January 11, 2013.
Looking for a place to ask your question? Sign up today for our community (you'll need a separate account than the one you use here), and ask away!
Ask and answer questions about mental health and relationship issues in a safe & supportive environment. If you ask a question, you will have to answer someone else's first, in order to give back to others here.