I've read some answers to other questions & I'm really impressed with the insight & help given. I hope some of you will answer this question as I'm really having a difficult time understanding.
My husband (of 20+ years), seems to be incapable of communicating unless we are talking about trivial matters. He's fine if the discussion involves television, the weather or what his friends are up to, however if anything deeper than that gets brought up, he becomes defensive, aggressive & argumentative. Recently, I had to start taking anti-depressants because I've been having such a hard time dealing with him & I believe it's the main cause of my depression.
He also lies about trivial things as well & I just can't figure out why. If I ask him in a non-accusatory way any question, such as "Have you seen my purse?", he will answer in a highly defensive way with "I DIDN'T TOUCH IT..I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG". If he starts a load of laundry & I say to him "Oh, did you start the laundry?", he will answer with a lie, saying "I didn't do any laundry". Well, it's only the two of us here & I doubt the cat did the laundry! Why in the world would he lie about such stupid, trivial things. It's gotten to the point that I can no longer believe anything he says. He seems to lie about virtually everything from what he ate to where he went to how much sleep he got. It's exhausting to say the least. If I try to talk to him about anything, he just becomes defensive & very, very aggressive. He has even resorted to punching holes in walls & doors, which he feels he is justified in doing, because according to him "I trigger his anger" because I'm asking him questions.
Can someone please advise me as to what is going on with him. I know I need to leave & I am getting closer to that every day. In the meantime, I would like to try to understand why he is this way.
Thank you so much for any advice you could pass on to me.
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