Avatar Posted by oly366 49 days ago (Question)
I've been married 30years come Nov. I've tolerated alot of stuff from my husband through all these years. But now I feel like I just can't anymore. He goes out on friday nights until 2am, I tell him I want togo, he responds thats his unwind from the week. Today he left the house at 9:00am to go to the bank came home 9:30pm so plastered he could barely stand up. I don't know what to do, I try talking to him when this happens which is almost every other weekend, he calls me nag, and walks away or goes out, what do I do? Do I walk away? I tried the silent treatment but it had no effect on him it seems he really doesn't care.


Answers

Written by Chemar 49 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi

I am so sorry you are having to go through this.

When alcohol use changes to abuse, the person is often in total denial about the fact that the alcohol is causing problems for them, both personally and in their relationships

Your husband is unlikely to respond to your talking to him about it, as it probably makes him defensive

Do you have someone who can maybe have a talk with him about what this is doing to you. he may see it more clearly when explained by someone else.Just be careful tho not to involve anyone that he may become upset about you discussing this with. it is a hard situation

Is this only happening on occasion or is this a regular pattern? Do you know if he has alcohol daily (even a little)?

If he is habitually drinking, he may be experiencing alcoholism and that puts it into a different category than just a guy going out to unwind by a binge drinking session now and then. Alcoholics Anonymous have a great track record in helping people with drinking problems stay sober and they also have support groups for family members of alcoholics

Also remember that sometimes people are dealing with personal problems and they use alcohol as an escape mechanism. have you tried just lovingly talking to him about anything that may be troubling him? Doing so in a caring and non accusing way may help him open up and draw you closer.

I hope things work out for you

Written by Clyde 45 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

It does sound like he could be an alcoholic. You might be able to find help at

http://www.aa.org

Could you talk to him about it while he is not drunk and see what he thinks and feels?

Best,

Clyde


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