Avatar Posted by rasinrasin579 37 days ago (Question)
Ok, so heres the situation in a nut shell.
I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year and we are both each others first girlfriend/boyfriend. He is a great guy who will do anything for me and he knows me so well. But things are just not working out lately. He's more the type of person who views the cup half empty, where I view it half full. We think so differently about many things which end up getting in the way of our relationship. We also made the mistake when we first started dating of talking a lot about a future together. We got as detailed as the type of flowers in our wedding. Which is what I thought I wanted at the time, but I figure out that it was a really bad idea because then I started thinking to myself "how do I know it will be him who I want to marry, he's the first boyfriend I have ever had". I'm not saying I wouldn't want to marry him, just that if we so happen to stay together and end up married, I feel I would always wonder "what if??" like what would it be like with someone else or what would it be like to live on my own for awhile?? I hate that I think that way, but I can't help it. I don't want to only date one guy and keep dating until we get married. Maybe he will be the one I marry, but we will need to have a break or something. I want to travel the world, live on my own for a few years, figure out who I am and what I want, before I settle down with someone. He doesn't understand this of course and takes it as a slap in the face. I see how it seems like I want to date other people because I don't like who I already have. But what I have might be what I end up wanting, but I need to figure out what I want...on my own, without someone being affected by decisions I chose to make. Is it wrong for me to feel that way?? I feel selfish for wanting to live my life for me and make my own decisions because I chose to be in this relationship and now I am not so sure this is what I want right now. But I will be hurting the person I love. It just isn't a good enough reason to break up with him...
We are now at that point where we keep getting upset with eachother and thinking about breaking up, then getting back together, then getting mad about all the same stuff again...ect.
I don't want this to end up getting worse and us ending up hating eachother. So in my mind, breaking up might be whats best for us. We might find that there is someone way better out there for us, or that we were perfect for eachother. Having some time apart could even maybe help the possibility for something together in the future. He just can't grasp this idea, and won't let me go. How can I get him to understand?? What should I do??


Answers

Written by dusky1 37 days ago - Show / Hide this answer Rating: -1 | Rate Answer: + -

Written by gggrinch 37 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I agree with dusky1. And I wish you the best of luck. smilie

Written by Clyde 37 days ago Rating: 1 | Rate Answer: + -

To me, if you have questions about the relationship, that just shows that you dont want to be involved in it, at least to that extremity that you are in.

Think about it a little more and make your decision.

Best,

Clyde


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