Avatar Posted by KayleeKat 46 days ago (Question)
I really need help. I am madly in love with my ex boyfriend.. I'm only 17 years old, but I am very mature for my age. Some people say you can't fall in love at such a young age, but I know that I was and still am in love with him. He's 20 years old, we met when I was about 14 while he was dating my best friend. Me and him started dating off and on but was not serious at all because we were still kids. couple years later when I turned 16 we started talking everyday, going for walks, just enjoying eachothers company. I liked him a lot and it seemed that he liked me too. So in January of 08 I was at his house and we kissed for the first time, it felt so.. right. So this was winter and then in the summer time about June - August we lived together for a couple months and I was on the computer one time and seen conversations of him and girls and he was sending those little emoticon hugs and stuff. I also saw conversations with his guy friends about our personal stuff..I got upset over this and confronted him, he said he was sorry and he doesn't know why he did this. So I got over it, and then I was in his facebook inbox and saw things he was writing to girls back in january, february, march around there.. and it was just gross things that would involve him cheating on me. I confronted him, he denied it and I said ok go into your inbox and show me it's not true then. He said no, so I broke up with him. After a while he decided he would show me so he did. I never EVER got over this and held onto it for the year and a half we were together. I have a hard time letting go of things (as you can tell) and so there was always a reason to fight, because I didn't trust him. So after the first year, we started fighting every day. This lead to a million break ups and break downs between the both of us. He told me he got rid of his internet so that I could trust him, but I noticed little things that told me he was going on behind my back. It's pretty sad that he had to say he got rid of his internet just to make me trust him. How could he expect me to when he was doing all this? I was catching him in so many lies.. He told me he doesnt have feelings for his ex girlfriend anymore, but then just recently one of his old friends told me he slept with her a few months ago. We live in a really small town which makes this even harder for me. I can't go out of the house without seeing him or things that remind me of him. So we broke up beginning of this summer, and about a month and a half later we started talking again, he made me believe he was still in love with me, told me I'm beautiful, said he thinks we will get married someday.. probably just to get in my pants. I find that hard to believe with all the stuff we've been through together. I've never felt a love like his. Everytime he looked at me it was like a dream come true. The way he talked to me melted my heart. The sweetest things he called me. Woke me up every morning with a phone call for a year and told me he loved me and can't wait to spend the day with me. We spent everyday together and we didn't even have to do anything to be happy with eachother. This is making me cry because I miss him more than anything, I would die for him.. still after every heart break he's given me.
We've had so much fun together, he took my virginity when I was 16 and that was really important to me. I was happy it was him because he's the love of my life. But I don't know if I'm happy about it anymore..

We spent some nights laying in the bush staring at the stars and talking, we went camping together, snowmaching.. anything you could think of. He was the perfect best friend I never had. We constantly reminded eachother how much we were in love with one another, no matter how much we faught.
I cry everyday and everynight because I miss him so much. My heart is so broken. I hear things all the time of what he's doing now, sleeping with girls, drinking all the time. This is the complete opposite of what he showed me he was. So today I couldn't take wondering anymore, so I went onto his facebook and looked at what he's been up to and it breaks my heart even more. I see him talking about sex positions on there, how women dig tattoo's so he's getting tattoo's. When we were together he told me no matter what happens, he will never be the way he was when he was younger and that's being a promiscuous male. He said even if we broke up he'd never go back to his old ways. I can't believe how much he's lied to me. From this story, this is not near 1% of our relationship. He's now involved with the girls he always made fun of because they were "slutty" and "bitchy." This makes me sick to my stomach because I am different than every other girl and he seemed different from everyone else as well so we seemed perfect for eachother. I don't know what to do anymore, I want him back. The only way I feel I can move on in my life is to be with him, the only way I can be happy, is to be with him. If I were to touch any other guy it would gross me out, I only have eyes for him, I only have feelings for him. I feel he is the one for me, but at the same time.. how could he be? I don't know if anyone can help me out because no one seen everything we've been through and how in love we were. I wish he would call me and say he's sorry. I wish he would come clean about everything. I wish he wouldn't lie anymore.
While we were together neither of us hung out with anyone else because we only wanted to be with eachother, I still have no friends while he's gone with all the people he said he would never be involved with.
Can you please give me some advice even though I'm quite sure nothing will help me. I just need hope


Answers

Written by lochnessy 46 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I can imagine confused and upset you must be over this but I have to say that most of us have been there. I've had guys who I didn't think I could live without because things felt so "right". And yes, they may have felt right for you at the time but if he's sneaking around and flirting or doing whatever with other girls he's really Not right for you. Even though it feels like it... I say move on and just let him go. You'll find someone else, I promise. And you'll come to realize that there are so many other people out there who are more than wiling to worship the ground you walk on and treat you with the love and respect you deserve. You ARE young, mature or not. You still have years ahead of you and while you think you're mature, he's obviously not. Or... as they say "He's just not that into you." Be good to yourself and let him go.

Written by bellacutie 46 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi,

I'm going to be very honest and straight forward with you. You want a serious monogomous relationship but he's not ready for that. I remember what it was like to be your age and in love - feeling like this was the only person for me. I too thought I was mature - but I ws really young and naive. I only wish I new then, what I know now. I remember thinking this is the only man for me and he's my universe.

You would only be setting yourself up for heartbreak if you purue him. The best thing for you is to stay away from him. I also want you to get out of thinking you would die for him or any other man - it's not worth it girl! You never want to put that much at stake for a man. It's a dog eat dog world out there and you need to look out for number 1 - you!! Yes it will take a while to get over the grief - but time will help you heal. I know you were looking for hope in how to get back together but that wouldn't be good for you. Take care.

Written by Clyde 44 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

You really just have to let go. If he is not into having a relationship, sadly; you won't get him back no matter what.

I know you really want him back with you--but if he is not going to change anything--it won't happen, so please do not continue to beat yourself up over it.

Best,

Clyde


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