I am 23 year old female. I’ve considered myself heterosexual all my life. I don’t fell in love very often, but if I do it is only with men. I had and still have only male celebrity crushes. I like to daydream about emotional, spiritual, and sexual relationship with a particular man. However, there is one thing that is haunting me, namely I am able to be sexually/genitally aroused by the pictures of both male and female genitals.
I began to masturbate when I was 5 or 6. I didn’t know what I was doing but it felt good so I kept doing it. When I was 8 or 9, I used to masturbate while looking at playboy pics(kept by my older brothers), which was the only sexual thing in my environment at that time. I remember I used to fantasize about myself being one of those women posing for men; these fantasies accompanied masturbation as well. Now, as I am grown up woman, pictures of naked women do not affect me like that any more. However, I noticed that I am still able to be aroused by the pictures of female genitals. (I find male genitals arousing also). I don’t know if it arouses me because I associate it with, for example, oral sex performed on women, or something like that. Looking at other parts of women, such as breasts, does not arouse me., maybe because I don’t feel pleasure from touching my own breast.
I must add that I am still virgin and haven’t had any kind of sexual contact with anybody. I usually use porn to masturbate, especially the kind of porn with oral sex performed on woman. I guess I can imagine how it feels. I don’t feel any attraction towards women, I don’t want to have sex with any woman but this strange arousal puzzles me. Am I bisexual because of it? If you were me, how would you identify yourself: heterosexual, bisexual, or something else? Please, help me and tell me what you think.
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