Avatar Posted by eagleone777 442 days ago (Question)
Divorced 3 years ago, recently married, dated 2.5 years, I'm 49, she's 34 and Japanese. Over the past two years we've had many conversations about her lack of attraction to me, but how she loves me so deeply. She is compassionate and loving, but rarely wants sex. I'm out of work but helping her build her business. I almost feel she loves me as a father.


Answers

Written by Mattie58 441 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I'm not quite sure what your question is. I'm guessing you're troubled by her lack of physical desire for you? If you dated for two and a half years, this must have been noticeable to you, so I'm wondering why you went ahead and got married if you found it a problem. Were you hoping it would change, or hoping that you could get along without it? Whether she sees you as a father or not, it sounds as if the sexual component is not there for her, and sadly, I imagine this will not change appreciably. You'll have to decide whether you can get along with only part of what you want, or whether you should move on. You began dating soon after your divorce, and I'm wondering whether you were feeling adrift and were so relieved to find love again that you didn't look at the whole picture before getting deeply involved. If you decide you can't live without more of a sexual component, it would be better to move on now rather than after twenty years. But only you can decide how important it is to you.

Written by Clyde 440 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

It could be too the different cultural affects. I am by no means an authoritative expert on this, but perhaps Japanese show their devotion or attraction differently than Americans (I am presuming that is what you are, if not, I apologize).

As you well know, sex is not the whole thing of a relationship, but you do need to talk to her as well. If she does not feel the same towards you, you may want to leave the relationship, but first, get her point of the situation.

Best,

Clyde


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