Avatar Posted by DazednConfuzed 55 days ago (Question)
I am seeing this guy. We have known each other since elementary school, but were always friends. After 9th grade, he moved and I hadnt seen him since. In May 2009, I was at a friends house. Her boyfriend was letting us know that his brother was coming over and asked that we help with dinner. No problem, these folks are always so generous to others. As we are cooking, someone knocks at the door. He answers it. Everyone else had left the kitchen to meet him. I was still in there looking for dishes and such. I hear the mans voice and decide to look up. Low and behold, it is him (he looks amazing by the way). He remembers me and we hit it off, like we never missed a beat. He asks me out, and we go on a few dates. We discuss that neither of us are ready for relationships, and decide to leave it at that. 3 weeks after we first met up again, we sleep together, and it was amazing. Ever since then we have been sleeping together. We go out, watch football, go to each other's family events but we still like things the way they are. About 2 weeks ago, he tells me he loves me, I think about it for a few days and realize I love him too, but we are not "IN LOVE" (big difference to me). We like each other, well love each other. Everyone tells us we should be together because we act like we are, but I am truly happy with things the way the are and so is he. He has never pressured me to do anything I didnt want to and vice versa. He is always there for me and will give me anything I want. Why does everyone else make it so critical that we belong together. Are we wrong for enjoying things the way they are, or should we look at the situation and see what could happen?




Answers

Written by Chemar 55 days ago Rating: 1 | Rate Answer: + -

best advice I can give is that you should politely tell others that as it is *your* relationship, you will handle it the way you feel is best

relationships can quickly turn wrong when one allows what other people think to influence them, especially when there is not something that you feel needs "fixing".trying to turn your relationship into something that neither of you are wanting, could also change the comfortable way you interact with each other now

I am "old fashioned" in believing sex and committment go together, but that doesnt mean I expect others to think like I do. Time will tell if there is a deeper future for your relationship. Dont try to make it happen if you dont feel the need for it.

hope that helps a bit

Written by Clyde 45 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I dont get this--you LOVE him but are not IN LOVE? To me, they are one in the same. If you are not in love with him, then what do you love about him--how could you love him?

Let others, as Chemar said (and I guess that applies to the two of us) that it is your relationship and you will deal with it how you see fit.

Best,

Clyde


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