Avatar Posted by cjkkbr0815 120 days ago (Question)
Alright, so I am 14 and for a long time i have had a crush on this girl Jaimie. Well, a little while back my best friend Bill started to date her. i couldnt be mad at him because i never told him how i felt about her. Now, a couple days ago they broke up. I was gonna give Jaimie some time then ask her out. But at the same time, I was conflicted about how Bill would feel. Then I had this dream. I dreamt that Jaimie was in the olympics for something and me and my friends were wishing her luck. My friends were getting ready to go but I stayed behind.I kissed her and she gave me a big smile. I ran back to the bleachers to tell my friend Phil. Then he told me I shouldnt have because it would hurt Bill. So the dream kinda fastforwarded to where I was in a dark scary building, telling Jaimie that it couldnt work because I couldnt betray my best friend. Then everything started going into a freaky montage without music and I woke up sweating.


Answers

Written by drjean 120 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi cjkkbro! I'm sure you feel really worried about doing the right thing here, as shown in your dream. At age 14 and for the next several years, dating is all about getting to know others, and finding out things about yourself. It's a learning process not just for the actual "going through the motions" of dating (calling, texting, being patient, not controlling, enjoying the time together, working out how and when to meet, and who else you want to see and be seen by.)

You shouldn't have to feel you need to tell everyone "how you feel" about another person. You do need to tell the other person though, and allow them to decide for themselves. You can't make another person like you, but if you like them, they won't know it unless you tell them.

Step right up and tell Jaimie you'd like to be friends and go out together. She might say no, but at least you shared your feelings.

Good wishes

drjean

Written by bellacutie 120 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

You sound like a good friend and a nice young man. I think it would be nice to explain to Bill that you liked Jamie before he went out with her and now that they've broke up -you would like to get to know her. Then you should talk to Jamie herself and tell her how you feel. Since she just broke up, it may be better to start slow and be friends. Remember you're just 14 and be smart - not taking relationships too seriously. Enjoy this time in your life. Bella

Written by Clyde 107 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Yes, I think explaining to Bill that you liked her before they dated, would be a great place to start.

Then, go on to Jamie, and if that works out, that is all good and well :)

Don't take it super seriously yet, but do it that way, because at least you have done it in a way that shows Bill you appreciate and care for him.

Best,

Clyde


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