Avatar Posted by lacers 446 days ago (Question)
My fiance and I are going to be married in about 5 weeks. He has concerns that it isn't going to work, because we only have sex a few times a month. We work alternate shifts so that someone will be home to watch our 2 year old son. See each other in passing, and have 2 days off together each week, one of which he goes to play games with his friends. When we do have time off together, it's normally running errands and spending time with our son, and by the end of the day, I am often to tired, or we have had a disagreement about something and I don't feel like having sex. Is this normal? He also accuses me of being unfaithful when I have had basically no social life since our son was born, and this could be triggered by something as simple as my sexy nightgown being on top of the clothes in my drawer, or checking me e-mail when he is still asleep. I've told him countless times that i am not about carrying extra baggage and if I would rather be with someone else I would be (as in I wouldn't be with two at once). When I bring this up as a possible cause of my low sex drive (feeling put down and degraded) he tells me i am avoiding the problem and trying to put blame on him.... What can I do? Is there something wrong with my libido?


Answers

Written by Clyde 445 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I do think your only having sex at limited amounts of time is indeed normal. I think that someone being too possessive of you already (even though you do have a 2 year old son together) is indeed a bad sign.

There is nothing wrong with your libido as far as I see...what I see is him trying to be too possessive and too overbearing.

You can't just give it when he wants it, there is a two way street in marriage, and you are one of those streets. He has to allow you your freedom, or I would take the son and not take the marriage.

Do not allow yourself to be possessed by someone else. Live your life and have fun in your own life.

Best,

Clyde

Written by drjean 437 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

lacers, your fiance's expression might be an excuse for his not wanting to marry at all. Why should he? You've already had a child together, and engage in marital relations without being married.

Is he satisfying himself outside of the relationship, and thus when married feels he won't be able to do so (and indeed he shouldn't be at all!)? I think the marriage needs to be put on hold until you both are more comfortable with the situation. It could be that he wants his cake and to eat it too, you know?

Women aren't physical in the same way men are, and that is evident in your situation. Security and peace of mind, knowing their partner is there for them helps a woman engage in the pleasantry of sexual relations. It isn't easy to push through the insecurity of such a relationship and provide the physical aspect, imo.

Communication is key to any good relationship. It sounds like that's where you both need to begin, again.

Take care

drjean


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