My need for attention is getting out of hand. I always knew it was a problem but I am about to lose my marriage over it. I need to fix this issue before I end up alone.

I know my need comes from a insecurity from my childhood. I was teased really bad and thought I was ugly. Now that I am older I know I am not ugly but I enjoy the validation. I used to think I would never get a boyfriend so when I did start to date I couldn't focus on just one guy. I didn't really have a father around either. I know all this I just need to know how to get rid of this need.

I have had some butt holes for guy friends but my boyfriends were all great to me and I still couldn't focus on just him. I am now married to a guy that really loves me and I can't shake that old feeling. When I start flirting I just can't stop it. I know it is wrong and i feel bad because I don't want to lose him. He isn't perfect but he treats me good. I don't want to hurt him and stay on this destructive path. I get involved in these guys and I get very wrapped up. I know I am not leaving my husband and yet I push things to such a limit. He said feels like he isn't enough and I just don't know if he might be right. I don't want to cheat but I miss the closeness I had with the other guy badly. Sexually he was better then my husband but my husband is better in every other way. I don't want to destroy my family over this. What can I do to remove this need in me? Any books I can read?


Answers


bella
993 days ago
Hi - I think you should get some counseling preferably with a female therapist or couples counseling. It seems you know where this is coming from - which is self esteem issues from childhood and lack of male father figure. Ideally you want to have your own strong self esteem that doesn't need validation from the outside. If you have a good man I think you should hang on to him - looks eventually fade and when you're not as attractive later on, you can rely on the wonderful husband you have. I hope you can work this out.