Ok, So I'm going to try to make this as short as possible. My ex boyfriend and I were together for a little over a year. Four months into our relationship he decided to change careers because construction was taking a toll on his body and he wanted something a bit easier on him. He decided to join his best friend in the sea food industry as a technician testing sea food for mercury. The company is pretty new and they're trying to get business all over the world which means my boyfriend had to travel a lot.

He first moved to Portland, Oregon. He was there for about 9 months and then he came home for a week and was off to the Phillipines. I had problems with him not communicating with me as much as I liked. He would let days and even a week go by before he would pick up the phone and call me. I called him every two or so days, because I understood he didn't like the phone very much. All I asked was that he not just use text messaging as our main way of communicating because it's very informal and I didn't feel as connected to him. I asked if he could at least call me once or twice a week. He would always say that he would but never did. He would also tell me just to wait until he got back home from the Phillipines and we got our own place and then things would be better.

I had several talks with him and even wrote him an email detailing how I felt about him not calling. I didn't feel like I was important to him or even a priority, which really hurt especially since he was talking about marrying me and wanting to spend the rest of his life with me.

I was really emotional one day and very upset and had not heard from him in almost a week. I was sick of always being the one to reach out to him and he doesn't really give anything back. I sent him a text message (the best way to get a hold of him) and told him that he had a week to figure out what he wanted to do with all of his things (his bed and dressers that he let me use and some miscellaneous things) that he had at my house, and that after that week if he didn't get it I would get rid of it. He never responded to that text. In fact, he hasn't responded to this day and that was a month ago. I do understand that I am the one that broke up with him and maybe I hurt him or something and he feels like he doesn't need to talk to me after that. I dunno and I probably never will find out

I sent a couple of emails thinking that I probably acted too rash and tried to apologize and explain where I was coming from that day and nothing. I tried to call him and I'm not sure if its just because he has really crappy service in the Phillipines or if he's just forwarding my calls (I think the latter) but he has not returned any calls either. I sent one last text before giving up telling him that I was sorry and that and that maybe one day we'll be on speaking terms again. i told him i would give him his time and space and to take care of himself.

I still want to be with him. It's so hard for me because we didn't talk to each other or anything so it's hard for me to move on. I feel kinda stuck. I don't understand why he couldn't just say anything to me. Anything. He just shut me out of his life completely. I see his myspace sometimes and all the new pics he put up and he looks so happy and like he's having fun not even giving our relationship, or lack thereof now, a thought. I wish I could do the same. How can someone just turn off their feelings like that after everything he told me about us and our future together. How can I get him back? Is this even worth me thinking about?


Answers


bella
1816 days ago
Hi,

I want you to know I'm not blaming you at all, but it would have been better for you, if you talked to him as opposed to e-mailing him. That way you would have received a response from him one way or the other - then you would have closure. Since he's not a good communicator, you made it easy for him in that he didn't have to respond. The fact that he's far away has also made it easier for him to tolerate the separation. You are left feeling guilty and thinking you were too harsh on him.

If I were you I wouldn't feel guilty or worry about it anymore. I know this is easier said than done and it will take time. If you want to try one last time telling him that you need to speak to him, so that you can have closure, go ahead. After that I would move on. I wouldn't try to think of ways to get him back because I suspect he has moved on with his life. I sorry if this is painful for you and I know it stinks. It will take time to heal and don't feel guilty at all. Take care.



Clyde
1816 days ago
I think he has kinda moved on too.

Could you talk to him face to face?

Best,

Clyde