Avatar Posted by nati199013 125 days ago (Question)
My boyfriend told me that he is having feelings for his best friend. I'm thinking it is just a phase but I'm not sure what to do. He told me I have nothing to worry about but I still have that thought in the back of my mind.


Answers

Written by bellacutie 125 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi,

I'm not trying to upset you, but if he said that, I would take it seriously. Many men have actually married women and later reveal that they were actually gay and tried to deny their sexuality. I don't think wanting to have sex with the same sex is a phase. If it quacks like a duck then it's a duck. I'm not trying to make lite of this because my own brother was gay and I loved him to pieces. I wouldn't want you to fool yourself and be hurt later. I wish I could be more optimistic. I don't think he wants to hurt you and that's why he said don't worry. Take care Bella

Written by Edahn 124 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I would give him a little space and time to explore his feelings and then ask him (maybe after a month) whether his feelings are sexual (does he want to kiss guys) or just emotional (does he feel close). Sometimes these things get confused.

So I think you are right to worry a bit, but for now, try and keep that worry in the back of your mind. When the time is right (after a month or so), just follow up on it to make sure you guys are still on the same page. If not, well, you can split up and find someone else.

Written by takikat 124 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I am bisexual, too. When i first felt feelings for girls, i thought it was just a phase. Later i realized that it wasnt, and a friend of mine who also had doubts, turned out to be bi too. I think that who ever feels for someone of the same sex, is just unsure on how to react. eventually, he will come out and be sure. but if he loves you, then he won't leave you for someone. especially since he is still new and shy to the situation

Written by JoyLynn 124 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Whether he is bi or not, he has told you that you have "nothing to worry about," so why are you worried? Do you trust him or not?

Bisexuals aren't any more likely to cheat or be irresponsible in their personal lives than homo- or heterosexuals. They're just as capable of having monogamous relationships as anyone else.

That said, if he later decides he wants to explore his attraction to men, give him space to do so. The two of you might want to investigate polyamory (I'd suggest starting at http://polyamory.org/ ) to see if you'd like to try it.

Good luck to both of you!

Written by Clyde 122 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I do not think he will leave you either just because he could be bi or might be bi.

The most important thing to do at this time is to let him talk to you and be there for him as his best friend--considering you are his girlfriend.

Best,

Clyde


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