Avatar Posted by greenbomber76 230 days ago (Question)
cool well were do i start, my bride to be meet whn i was about 13 she is older thn i am an was 15 or 16, we talked all the time over the phone an she was the 1st person i was in a way sexual interacted with she lives in Co me in Az she we txted naughty things not hard core stuff cause i was only 13 an didnt really know wat i was doing but i flirted with her an got a couple of pic of her. after this went on for a while i got caught with the pics an texts, tht summer was the year i started high school an than after i matured abit we started talkin again,we talked all throught my freshmen an shopmore an jr. year tht winter i meet her in peroson for the 1st time we spent the night 2ghter an the night nxt night after tht i couldnt sleep she had infected me an i didnt sleep hardly tht night, fast 4ward she was there for me whn iwent through some hell relationships an i an i told her things an she told me things i gotta thank her for making me stay up late an talk to her cause i would b in love with her like i am to day. any way the problem i got to spend 2 an half months with i loved it i cried whn i finaly had to leave an i didnt want to at all. before me she has had a colorful mix of boy freinds an i hate all of thm, she had sexual relations with most of thm but i cant really b mad at her for doing this cause im jus as guilty, but jus thinking of some else who had her b4 jus makes me sick i get such hard pains in my stomach an chest an i jus wanna get a ax an start going crazy on these guys, shes such a sweet girl good values an down to earth has plans an knows wat she wants, this bugged me a little at 1st i brushed it off an let it go but it coming bck an now its to the were i get sick. i dnt blame her for her past cause one i wasnt in her life like i am now an two wasnt even in the same state, an whn were just freinds she would tell how she went an drank an messed around(not in detail) but i didnt trip but i guess cause now im with her it bugs me.an since im being honest a few months ago i was at a party had to much to drink an messed up...i regret tht night so much i didnt tell rite away but i soon did an i felt like s***..i begged her to give another chance an she did since thn i have been faith ful an honest to her, from wat i can put 2ghter i guess part of me is scared she might get bck at me,it would only b fair but still would suck. an that im jus not able 2 accept tht i wasnt there to stop her from doing the stuff she did? but it probly dnt help that a few of the guys still txt her of face book her every now an then she says she dont talk to thm i belive her jus not 100% im prbly the dick for not but my past keeps me from trusting people fully im sure in time i will, now im almost 18 an were gettin married am i haven 2nd thoughts no does it scare me ooo hell ya my jr year in high schoo i was the happy sk8er/pot head an jus kinda let life take its course deal with stuff one day at a time so its a big change to me but im sober an lookin for work but its hard. but i got her a ring an cnt wait 2 give it to her. so if any one can give me tips on who i can kick the tought of her past boy toys out of my mind so i whn i move in with her i dnt get locked up,u have my full attention dnt get me wrong i love her very much an feel bad about even thinking about her past. cause its her past not mine an i jus dnt under stand why it bugs me so much.
thank you - Greenbomber76


Answers


bella
229 days ago
Hi - have you asked her to marry you and how long will your engagement be? Make sure you both finish your education goals and really think this decision through because people change considerably at this age. Regarding her past - you can't blame these guys or her because they did exactly what you wanted to do. You can't change the past and being too possessive isn't healthy for you or your relationship.

Regarding marriage - I think all couples should have pre-marriage counseling. Couples need to figure out if they're compatible in areas like, finances, how they solve problems(fighting), raising kids or whether to have kids, sexual expectations, household duties etc. Its also common when people are young, to have very passionate / possessive feelings...but keep them in check. Best of luck in your decision and try not to let this bother you.
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WISE-B
200 days ago
hi i have read what you have said. and what you are going thru is quite common amongst couples; especially new one's.

you have already acknowledge that a persons past doesnt define them...

its their present that does ; although a persons past can help or hinder the present.

nonetheless, there is obviously something strong enough there between the 2 of you. to have moved in together.

Thus you need to continue to maintain a open communication with her about how you be feeling and thinking in a advisorly standpoint.( question asked for opinion of another ).

once done repeatedlly? you will get into the habit of this and become more comfortable with self and her. and the stigma will eventually not be a issue no more.

good luck.

peace
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