cool well were do i start, my bride to be meet whn i was about 13 she is older thn i am an was 15 or 16, we talked all the time over the phone an she was the 1st person i was in a way sexual interacted with she lives in Co me in Az she we txted naughty things not hard core stuff cause i was only 13 an didnt really know wat i was doing but i flirted with her an got a couple of pic of her. after this went on for a while i got caught with the pics an texts, tht summer was the year i started high school an than after i matured abit we started talkin again,we talked all throught my freshmen an shopmore an jr. year tht winter i meet her in peroson for the 1st time we spent the night 2ghter an the night nxt night after tht i couldnt sleep she had infected me an i didnt sleep hardly tht night, fast 4ward she was there for me whn iwent through some hell relationships an i an i told her things an she told me things i gotta thank her for making me stay up late an talk to her cause i would b in love with her like i am to day. any way the problem i got to spend 2 an half months with i loved it i cried whn i finaly had to leave an i didnt want to at all. before me she has had a colorful mix of boy freinds an i hate all of thm, she had sexual relations with most of thm but i cant really b mad at her for doing this cause im jus as guilty, but jus thinking of some else who had her b4 jus makes me sick i get such hard pains in my stomach an chest an i jus wanna get a ax an start going crazy on these guys, shes such a sweet girl good values an down to earth has plans an knows wat she wants, this bugged me a little at 1st i brushed it off an let it go but it coming bck an now its to the were i get sick. i dnt blame her for her past cause one i wasnt in her life like i am now an two wasnt even in the same state, an whn were just freinds she would tell how she went an drank an messed around(not in detail) but i didnt trip but i guess cause now im with her it bugs me.an since im being honest a few months ago i was at a party had to much to drink an messed up...i regret tht night so much i didnt tell rite away but i soon did an i felt like s***..i begged her to give another chance an she did since thn i have been faith ful an honest to her, from wat i can put 2ghter i guess part of me is scared she might get bck at me,it would only b fair but still would suck. an that im jus not able 2 accept tht i wasnt there to stop her from doing the stuff she did? but it probly dnt help that a few of the guys still txt her of face book her every now an then she says she dont talk to thm i belive her jus not 100% im prbly the dick for not but my past keeps me from trusting people fully im sure in time i will, now im almost 18 an were gettin married am i haven 2nd thoughts no does it scare me ooo hell ya my jr year in high schoo i was the happy sk8er/pot head an jus kinda let life take its course deal with stuff one day at a time so its a big change to me but im sober an lookin for work but its hard. but i got her a ring an cnt wait 2 give it to her. so if any one can give me tips on who i can kick the tought of her past boy toys out of my mind so i whn i move in with her i dnt get locked up,u have my full attention dnt get me wrong i love her very much an feel bad about even thinking about her past. cause its her past not mine an i jus dnt under stand why it bugs me so much.
thank you - Greenbomber76
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