Hi,

My girlfriend comes back to the table from a restroom break, and accidentally calls me by her ex'es name. She denies any existence of communication or contact(physical, email, ym, etc..) with her ex and strongly claims that she didnt know how her ex'es name suddenly came out of nowhere. they broke up 1 1/2years ago and has never gotten in contact with each other for the longest time, as she further claimed.

Is there any psychologically-backed explanation that proves that she's credible in saying that the name just popped out
without any influence of a recent encounter/contact with her ex'es? Or should I simply lower my trust level as far as her honesty and loyalty are concerned?

I am looking forward to anyone who can shun light on this issue as this has admittedly been bothering me for quite some time now. Thank you so much in advance for your incites. More power to your website.


Answers


Francesca
1896 days ago
I've done this.

It means that something reminded her of something about her ex and she made the association. Nothing more. This could happen subconsiously, or she could be aware of the association. Regardless, this has nothing to do with her validity.

This does not mean she is still interested in him, or that she sees you in the same light. I simply means she made an association. Cut her some slack. The more you bring it up, the more she will think about it, and the more likely it is to happen again.



apb123
1896 days ago
Okay. I understand your girlfriend's mishap because I have personally done the exact same thing. I've been dating my current boyfriend for 2 years, and I have name mishaps. I've called him everything from my best friend's boyfriend, to DAD. Not everyone does it but I can personally say that it happens. I love my boyfriend, and accidentally calling him my ex's name doesn't change that.

There is no reason to not trust her honestly. Unless you know for sure that something is going on, there is no reason to think she is lying.

This is just my opinion. Good luck and have patience!



series0
1896 days ago
Well there are afew sides to this. I agree with the other posters so far. I have THOUGHT the same thing when trying to come up with my girlfriend's name. Sometimes I can literally go through the entire back list of my serious relationships before conjuring up the appropriate name.

That's where the difference comes in though. I do not actually say it. I say the right name. Each person's level of attention in this regard is based on their own personality and experiences, not the needs of their partner. It is important to me to get it right, even if my girl doesn't care.

If it's wounding you, you need to express to her that you want her to stop saying it and take the time to think before she speaks if you can't just let it go, or better yet laugh it off to put her at ease from now on. Such an act on her part would express a willingness to change her casual speech to protect the relationship. But keep in mind that asking your partner to be un-casual with you can cause a more guarded relationship to develop than would otherwise be ideal for the openness required to be successful.

I suggest, if at all possible, you simply choose not to be offended.



Edahn
1895 days ago
It's called a Freudian Slip, or technically, parapraxis (say it 5 times fast). Freud thought it had to do with your subconscious desires. Modern research has showed that this is not necessarily true and that it could result from inattention, incomplete sense data or insufficient knowledge.

Don't worry about it. Have a little more trust in your partner if you can manage it.

Read more here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freudian_slip#Alternative_explanations_of_.27slips_of_the_tongue.27



blkpsy
1895 days ago
I dont think that it meant n e thing. Some1 could have reminded her of him, or it jus slipped out, nuthing more!



bella
1895 days ago
Hi Kyle,

if she would have called you by her mother's name - you would be worried right. Well it the same thing - it was just a fluke tha's all. I have called my kids by my dogs name before LOL - does it mean that I regard them on the same level LOL or that I had a temporary brain lapse or momentary confusion - that's all. This doesn't indicate that she's had contact or is longing for him or likes you less. Keep trusting her the same and don't worry - she wasn't living in the moment or was stressed out. Relax, okay?? Bella



Edahn
1895 days ago
LOL. Here Fido! Here boy!



thehelper
1894 days ago
dude dont be so perinod it was just a slip of the tounge and mind wherre u guys where at or the fod could have triggered a memory and then she called her exs name ok shes not cheating on u



Mikec
1881 days ago
My girlfriend did the same( she just recently got divorced, 3 mos. ago), she stopped and said sorry, I was cool w/ it no big deal, but did it again later that day, I asked her what was going on, and she said that there were somethings that reminded her of him when we were driving or out and about. She continued to slipp up and mention his name a few more times in the past two weeks or so. what should I do?



Edahn
1881 days ago
Nothing. Start calling her by her brother's name. Maybe call her "Ronald McDonald" or "Mr. Obama." Tell her she has qualities that remind you of our beloved President. Have fun with it, rather than making it into a big serious issue. It's not malicious, really. It's like when bella calls her daughter by her dog's name. (Still cracks me up.)



Clyde
1880 days ago
I dont think it is anything to worry about either.

Best,

Clyde



Bimmerheadu
1416 days ago
Apparently I did that 3 wks ago when my GF and I were getting intimate and I said "oh mama" and I don't even remember saying it for the life of me. When she brought it up I understood why she was so angry the whole next day and felt unloved by me. I tried explaining to her that it was a slip of tongue most likely, and I was not thinking of anyone else cos I am so deeply in love with her that I even rushed home to make lunch for her before her long 2 weeks trip cos I wanted her to have a home cooked meal. She apparently thinks "mama" is the pet name that I used to call my ex. And its not even true.

Ideas anyone to help her understand the whole Freudian slip aspect, that there's no reason to worry about, and that Im still madly in love with her? First time in 3 yrs.