My husband, Sherman and I have been married for a little over two years. This is the second time each. He has two teenage boys, my children are grown. I was married to my first husband for 25 yrs, and he never laid a finger on me. Sherman the husband was married for 15 yrs. to his ex. His ex said to me when Sherman and I first started to go together, "you probably dont know, but "he has a temper". I shrugged it off to jealousy, or just trying to get her digs in on him. Well we have had quite a few arguments in the last two years especially after the " I do's" were said. It has been constant turmoil in my life with this man, from his ex-wife, his screwed up kids, and his screwed up family business that was closed recently. A debt load of his to the tune of 80,000 in credit card and divorce debt, that we just had to file bankruptcy on, plus losing his house (short saled) (which he didnt make the payment, his Mother did) Now he's un-employed, doesnt want to look for a real job, and is always questioning my thoughts, my feelings, my where abouts, my friends and my family. He has a problem with other poeple talking to me when we go out socially,( he says he's "shy") especially people of the opposite sex, no matter what the conversation is, how long I have known them, or anything. He has said things about my character behind my back to his buddy, I caught him on the phone when he thought I wasnt home, and on more than one occasion. This April we went out for a few drinks and some dinner to the local Legion that we are members at, and after a while I could tell he was getting cranky. People were all around us and there was a lot of conversation going on, but every now and then I would catch a glimpse of my husband looking at me with a less than happy expression on his face, and a not so nice look in his eye.. Mind you, I have known a lot of these members for over ten years. And Sherman is a member for the last year and a half. Well he was getting undone and by the time we got home he was just downright angry. We have been having a lot of trouble with his oldest child who is a 16 yr old, and any one that has raised kids knows what a difficult time of life that is. Not only for the teenager, but the parents as well. I am not the childs parent, and any authority I did have regarding this child was yanked away from me by his Dad. Long story short-He said some mean rotten things to me that night after we had been out drinking, and he really hurt my feelings by saying what he said to me. He was basically attacking my character, and that was now in my face. It wouldnt have bothered me so much if it would have been the first time he said something stupid, but its like the hundreth time, and I smacked him with an open hand across the back of his right shoulder blade. He back-handed me in the face and knocked my glasses off me, busted my eyebrow open and gave me a blck eye. The first hit from Sherman, caused me to smack him again, -which was by this time a defensive reaction for me- in the back of his head. Then he back-handed me again. This back-hand bloodied my nose. My nose was literally bleeding, and profusely. I had to use a kitchen towel and an ice pack. After the fight ended, he said it was just a reaction to me hitting him first. I didnt hurt him. He hit me twice, and I dont think after all of this arguing and all of the stupid crap I have had to endure with this unemployed, middle-aged father of two, who by the way does have a four year degree, and could do so much more, that I should even consider staying married to the man. The thought of it makes me very very sad. I feel like all I tried to do for all this time was to bring a sense of balance and stabilty to him, and his sons and by doing so it would bring me a sense of purpose again, my kids are 30 and 25 and on their own. I fell in love with him, I converted my faith from a cradle Roman catholic, to Eastern Orthodox catholic and I did love him....I brought good stuff to the table in me I think. I raised my kids in the church. I did everything I could do to be a good partner to him, in spite of the reservations some people had about us getting married. I dont need counseling. I think I just am giving a little more than I am recieving. And recieving a few things I dont deserve.
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