I had to stay in the hospital with my 4 year old for two days and left my 2 daughters with my husband and adult daughter during my absence. On the morning of my sons release from the hospital I received a phone call from my adult daughter telling me that she caught her father molesting my 9 year old. My husband is in the army so I contacted the bishop of my church and the MP's and CID, social work services, the whole 9 yards. My first concern was protecting my children. I asked my adult daughter to take the children to a neighbor and then drop her father off to work and come and get me from the hospital. We then went to CID where we spent the day making statements and being questioned. My husband was detained and questioned then placed in the barracks until the situation is resolved. He has a protective order not to see or talk to myself or any of our children. I feel very confused and think there is something wrong with me. I was told by my 9 year old that she has no recolection of the event, my adult daughter says that she saw everything and my 9 year old was laying still on top of her father chest to chest with her legs pulled up to her sides in a sort of fetal position with her head and chest resting on his chest. She says that they were both fully clothed. She says that he had his hands inside her shorts and possibly her panties caressing her buttocks and back repeatedly while moving underneath her. She said she watched this for about 5 seconds and then went to the livingroom to get her camera to take a picture. She states that when she returned to the bedroom she opened the door and the niose of the door alerted my husband that there was someone at the door and he was still at that point, she did not interupt she did not call the police she left her there and waited for a couple of hours to call me and aske me what to do. She is 22 years old with a child of her own that had an incident with sexual abuse at age 5 and I left that man the moment I found out about it. I resovled myself to leave my husband and never allow him around his children again.
However, we have been married for almost 13 years, he has never done this to any of the other children nor to our 9 year old before this incident, that I know of. He is not a person that has every really set limits nor does he set boundries and has at times been dismissive of the limits and boundries attempted to be set by others. I would like to stay with my husband and get past this and be a family. I have not seen him since this happened but feel that this could be an isolated incident and there could not be repitition if counseling and some type of support is put in place. I am very confused. My 9 year old does not understand, she does understand what forgivness is and says whe wants to forgive him, I do not know that I can. Is it possible for us to live together and for this not to be repeated? Am I then a horrible and selfish mother that does not deserve to have my children. I feel like this whole thing is my fault as our marriage has not been a good one. Please help me.
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