Am I bipolar? I have reached a point where I don't know and I need someone outside of my circle to tell me. My husband and I just had another huge fight where he ended up saying I am crazy, and I said that I want a divorce b/c I am miserable. The truth is I would be miserable without him because I love him so, yet I want him to go away and quit hurting me. My friends say that he is abusing me emotionally and that I am just protecting him which I disagree with about 90% of the time. I guess I should talk about the history and the actual fights we have. I had depression for a brief period when I was a teenager, and my husband is a disabled vet, and has bipolar (manic-depressive) disorder which he does not take his drugs for. I am obese and we both chain-smoke which I know is a depressive. My husband was a carpenter and can no longer work due to his disability so he is going to school. I work full time at the school and take classes half time. Our fights always seem to come back to housework and the distinction between Men's and Women's roles. I am expected to cook dinner, do dishes, do laundry, and clean house. Needless to say I cannot find a way to make me to do all of this which is not fair to him, because in the start of our relationship. Our house is a mess and the laundry piles up into a big explosive fight where I say it is not fair for me to go to work, cook dinner, do dishes, and be expected to do everything else while all he does is go to school, and later in life when he is working and I am at home w/ children I will be expected to do the same things that I think he should do now. He says the difference is I am a woman and when he is bringing home the money it will be more than I am bringing home now which makes the situations different. This brings us back to the escalating fights with me screaming, and crying; both of us taking jabs at each other, dredging up old hurts, and me following him when he just walks away. To him I don't carry my weight, I am lazy, and I am overly emotional. To me I say that he does not care about me, just the idea of me. That is when it comes to the point where he says that I have psychological issues to overcome, and that I am driving a wedge between us. I have almost come to the point where I think he is right, and that I dont have the right to expect the things that I do, because honestly he is the same guy that he was before I married him. At the same time from what I have found out about bipolar disorder is that those who suffer from it have a tendency to blame things on others rather than accept responsibility for themselves. So am I losing it? Am I depressed? Is there a chance that I am bipolar also and am putting everything off on him? Or is it that I am allowing myself to fall victim to his disorder? Thank you very much for responding I know that was a lot to read.
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