Hi im very upset, because my sister is in a relationship with a man who is emotionally abusive to her and she still will not leave him. He has cheated on her with her best friend, slapped her around and given her a black eye. He has gotten her into trouble with the police by using her car while he is unlicensed and involving it in some sort of criminal activity. He has a drug problem and has been in and out of jail. I have told her to get out and that she has her family to come to, but she seems to think she can change him. Everytime i call her he is their and he is yelling and being abusive in the background. Im so angry and upset that she will not leave him. She has my nephew in her care and god only knows what he has seen. Please any advice would help!!!!


Answers


Chemar
1562 days ago
Hi

I agree this does not sound like a safe relationship for her to be in, especially with a child, but you cant force an adult to do something they dont want to do. She is out of touch with reality if she thinks she can "change" an abusive man with a drug and violence problem

is there any way you and the rest of the family can get together with her when he is not around and attempt to convince her that, if only for the sake of her child, she needs to leave. If she hears the reality from a group of people who love her, it may just sink in



bella
1562 days ago
Hi rach25,

I can't imagine how scary and worried you must be for your sister. Abusive relationships are very complex - often there's strong co-dependancy issues. Your sister might even be addicted emotionally to this man. Often they become so scared and used to the abuse, they don't see a way out or they fall into the trap - thinking they can change the behavior.

All you can do is tell your sister, that you and your family are available anytime, if she needs help to get out. Give her the phone number to your local women's shelter and tell her to keep it secret. If she does want to leave him, she shouldn't leave when he's home - this could be dangerous. I hope your sister will be safe.