Avatar Posted by kar677 422 days ago (Question)
My sister always has an excuse why she can't do a girls night without her fiance, and she never wants to do anything with me or our mom. Her & her fiance leave her kids home alone & go out with his parents all the time. And he is always talking over her & calling her a dork & a loser in front of people. How do I make her see he is a control freak? She is always yelling at me when I try to talk to her & she says we just don't want her to be happy.


Answers

Written by drjean 422 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Kar, you're a good sister to be concerned. Here is a link about abused women and resources.http://www.abusedwomen.org/resources.html The best you can do right now is try to educate her and support her. She's being told by her fiance that she isn't worthy of anything better, and she's believing him. That thinking needs to be countered with positive support.

I suppose she doesn't go out without him because that's his rule, and she's afraid to break it?

See if you can find others who know/knew her and liked her to help you show her the light. She's not in a good place, and he's not likely to change. I would hope that she doesn't marry him at this point. It's unlikely he can change or will change even with counseling, but there's always that hope.

take care

drjean

Written by Clyde 422 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi there,

It sounds to me too that he is very controlling. Sometimes partners are afraid to leave or do things without the other partner because they worry about what will happen to them. That, of course, is understandable, but shouldnt happen.

It does sound like she is not in a good area right now. She needs to probably drop him like a hot rock, unless there is anyway (which I doubt there is) to save this union.

Best,

Clyde


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