I have been with my partner for just under 18 months. He is a fantastic man. At the start of our relationship it was important that it was serious so we dicided to start a family and fell pregnant by 3 months. While i have also known my partner loves a small bet on the horses it didn't seem to be anything to worry about. However a couple of months ago he "urgently" needed to pay an outstanding bill that i was unaware of so i let him use almost the last of our money for a fortnight to pay it. I also went to the pub the next day with him and i had put i think $50 aside so he could have a drink and a bet with his friend. It had been a few weeks that he did anything for himself so i kind of surprised him but when i got to the pub (later than he did). He had apparently won a bit of money and shouted me a drink and a meal. He kept saying things like how lucky he was to have me and humerous things about my trust. Now i do handle the bills and i didn't remember the figure for the bill he said so i did some investigating and i couldn't find any reference or any truth to what he had said. So i confronted him and when he denied it, i asked him for a receipt and he accused me of being the one who had an issue. Then he calmed down and reassuered me that everything was fine and gave in to getting a receipt. I have now asked twice and still no receipt and it's hard to ask as i don't want to accuse him and i don't want to believe he would do something like this. Especially as he has had quite a few "urgent" bills that needed paying straight away. Some that left us short when our son was only days old and he needed formula and we JUST scraped through! Luckily! Now i can honestly say that every single time he's fucked up i have never blamed him for his mistakes. Those times that he has admitted to spending all of our money and getting drunk and doing stupid things for the reasons he says, i have not ever gotten angry or blamed him. I have assured him that everyone makes mistakes and encouraged him to learn from them. FFS i know i have made some really stupid mistakes myself and the last thing i needed was BS from the ones i really needed support from! Anyway that was 7 weeks ago that i confronted him and last night at a time when we didn't have a cent to spare he spent $20 on online poker and when i woke up he said he had won 44cents to cover up the fact there was some money in the account. Yes i am going to confront him about it tonight but i am still confused. I have also stood for what i believe in and i know he needs help through this but he keeps making it my fault and i don't know how to get through. He is an excellent father of our son and a fantastic person! If i left him i would go back to where both of our families are from and that would mean that he won't get to see him son but i don't believe that's fair!! So please give me some advice, i am so confused and i really don't know what to do!!
Notice: Psych Central Answers shut down to new questions on January 11, 2013.
Looking for a place to ask your question? Sign up today for our community (you'll need a separate account than the one you use here), and ask away!
Ask and answer questions about mental health and relationship issues in a safe & supportive environment. If you ask a question, you will have to answer someone else's first, in order to give back to others here.