Avatar Posted by person1 57 days ago (Question)
I am a bit confused. I am a guy and I am attracted to women- I enjoy kissing, cuddling, etc. with girls I like but I cannot imagine having sex with girls that I like. If I am attracted to a girl and have feelings for her, should I want to have sex with her? Is there a difference between romantic feelings towards someone and sexual feelings?


Answers

Written by Prospero 56 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Freudian Perspective

This may be a classic example of sexual repression-sometimes jokingly referred to as the "Catholic Complex". In your mind you may still tend to see the sex act as dirty, and cannot imagine doing something that you see as depraved with someone that you respect and care about. There is clearly a distinction between casual affections, or friendships and sexual intimacy, and "romance" is essentially a set of socially accepted norms that proscribes the navigation from a casual friendship to a sexual one. In this case your best bet may be to communicate with your partner. If the desire for sex is consensual then her encouragements may help you to overcome your anxieties.

It's also possible that your aversion to the sexual act is rooted in some degree of performance anxiety. If you are bound by feelings of sexual inadequacy you may be afraid of disappointing the person that you care about. This is a much more intense psychological condition and if you believe feelings of inadequacy may be at the root of your difficulties then you should seek personal counseling from a trained psychiatric professional.

Written by Kajikit 53 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

How old are you? It sounds like you might just not be ready for that part of your life to begin yet... people mature at different rates and if right now you just want to be around girls without acting on it sexually that's okay... it's okay even if you're an adult - nobody's going to point a gun at your head and say 'you have to have sex with someone right now'. When the right person comes along, your attitude can do a 180 degree turn pretty quickly.

Written by Thisisit 52 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I was in the same boat. To be honest, I was just scared of the unknown. Then one day, at an age many would consider slightly late to start... VA-VOOM! Now, years later and married with almost a basketball team of kids, I just wish I could have more! :)

Be patient and don't stress. Be the man you are.

Written by Clyde 45 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Just let things progress naturally. Sometimes, people are not ready until later on. Sometimes, it is just your mind and body telling you that that person may not be right--for you at that time--listen to your instincts and your body.

Best,

Clyde


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