I am 28 and I have been out of college for a while. I have been dating my 31 bf for 7 years and I have never been with another man sexually. As a college student was friends with a guy. We were/ are very close and I ALWAYS felt very safe around him. After college he went into the army and I have not seen him since that time a year ago. This past weekend a mutual friend of ours threw a party at a local bar and I attended. My boyfriend had to work so another friend came with me. I won't lie, I was drinking. I was not blacked out but I will admit that if I had not stopped when I did, I would have. close to the end of the night my friend from the army (who had been drinking hard liquor for about 3 hours) asked me to walk with him outside for a cigarette. We were catching up and he said he dropped his phone as I went to help him he pushed me against a wall and was grabbing me so hard. I am covered in bruises all over my back, hips, wrists, and chest. He wouldn't stop. The friend I was with came and pushed him off me. I ran away and sat down on the side walk. My friend went to go gather my coat and cash out. The friend from the army walked over and grabbed my hand and kissed me. As he did this the hosting friends walked out and I was made to look like I was cheating. I left. The next day he didn't remember anything except I was mad at him so I told him no harm no fowl and my friend who hosted called me and gave me an ultimatum. I am to tell my bf or she will. I have felt so guilty. If I tell my bf he will never forgive me for being put in that situation and will leave me. I have built my whole life around this relationship, which I know is also unhealthy, and I can't afford to lose him. I really love him. I feel nothing for this other person and I am stuck. I need advice. by the way... It is well known that in college I had a short crush on this guy. SO now all of my friends think I welcomed it and that I would do it again. I feel awful. I don't know what to do.