Discovered, by total accident, that my husband of 8 years: 1) had been receiving bonus checks from his work the past year+ that he kept secret from me and; 2) had deposited these checks, totalling $14,000, into a new bank account I didn't know about; 3) was using this money to eat out, sometimes to buy groceries/gas/pay his cell phone bill, and to buy ridiculous ebay football memorabilia (while at the same time, I was stressing out because we were unable to pay all our bills); and 4) got his own PO box to hide the bank statements and the credit card statements (oh yeah, he also racked up $2000 on his credit card in addition to the $14K). We have 2 pre-school age kids, and we barely scrape buy financially. That said, I have 2 questions: I love my husband, and he is the best dad ever... I want my marriage to work, but not sure I can ever forgive this HUGE lie - dishonesty is about the worst wrong I can think of, and his lies are elaoborate. Is that forgive/forget rule even possible, or am I just totally naiive to think this could be worked out? Other than counseling, does anyon have ANY suggestions?
Notice: Psych Central Answers shut down to new questions on January 11, 2013.
Looking for a place to ask your question? Sign up today for our community (you'll need a separate account than the one you use here), and ask away!
Ask and answer questions about mental health and relationship issues in a safe & supportive environment. If you ask a question, you will have to answer someone else's first, in order to give back to others here.