I have been married 9 yrs and since the honeymoon, myhusband has lost interest in me. I had an affair for about 2 yrs, but when the husband found out, I had to call it off. He and I have been intimate one very unsatisfying time in the last year. He is otherwise a good guy, not very close with anyone but me. I am not ugly and I could have another affair. The constant rejection is tearing me apart. We have tried counseling, medications, nothing works. He feels bad, I know, but cannot change this. This is his second and my third marriage. My kids neither like or really dislike him. We have a nice home, pretty good kids, money, otherwise, doing well. I am, however, miserable and missing something I think is important. Is it important? Should I leave or go? I know his issues are mental and started well before the affair, it took three years for me to build up to having one. Do you think he is having an affair? He is a passive guy and I am a "go getter", maybe this is why he doesnt love me, but he says he loves me. Please let me know if I am building this up more than it should be built up. I am 46 and he is ten years older and life is ticking by, but divorce is going to be ugly and hard.