Avatar Posted by koda284 129 days ago (Question)
I am having problems with my 4 yr. old step son or soon to be step son. For a while he disliked me a little at first but now that his mom is correcting him more and not giving into him as much as before he has been throwing temper tantrums when he doesn't get his way. Now he is saying he is scared of me and I don't even correct him that much.


Answers

Written by Edahn 129 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I would talk to your husband and see if he can talk to his ex just to get some information about what she's doing differently. Have him tell her (without getting competitive and territorial) that he's concerned about a child in their child's reactions and explain what you've noticed. See what she has to say and make opinion seem valuable and wanted (and really, it is). Find out if she's trying out a new technique, if this reaction is normal and if this is supposed to pass and when. If there's something that sounds uncool, suggest an alternative and explain why it's a better solution. Make sure to discuss it between each other. Finally, you should make a plan to keep the dialogue open between all 3 of you for the child's benefit to discuss changes, what's working, and what isn't. If you find some articles online (search Supernanny.Com) you can share them with each other.

In terms of your own interactions with the kid, I think showing him that there's nothing to be worried about and maybe inviting him to play with you would help quash his fears.

Written by Clyde 122 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I too would talk to the husband and see what is going on. To me, a lot of it is he doesnt know how to interact with you as another mommy figure.

I too think it is a good thing to keep dialogue open between the 3 of you adults about the child...perhaps one or the other of you can learn from the other two.

Best,

Clyde


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