I need help! I'm engaged to the most amazing man in the world. I love him more than anything and I would never ever do anything to hurt him and he would never hurt me. He and his best friend are really close and we enjoy having him over for dinner and going on outings together. I do not want to be with this person, he is a good friend and I have no romantic feelings for him or desire to be in a relationship with him. But lately I have been having very graphic and realistic dreams about having passionate, amazing sex with him. It happens almost every night. And now whenever my fiance and I are hanging out with him, I feel this strong sexual tension between us. I keep imagining just going into the other room with him and getting it over with. My fiance and I have an amazing sex life, he is always satisfying me and I am not and have not ever been bored of our sex life. So why am I getting these feelings? I have not talked about this to anyone. Whenever me and my fiance's best friend are in a room together, I just feel this sexual connection even though I have no romantic feelings for him, and I think he feels it too. What do I do? Do I talk to his best friend about it? Why am I feeling this? How can I make it stop? Please help.


Answers


bella
1093 days ago
Hi - the biggest mistake would be if you talked to your husbands best friend about this!! Yes it happens where a person finds others attractive, even though you're in a committed relationship, but we must have boundaries. Sexual dreams are also normal. Are you feeling nervous and is there a reason you would self sabotage?



Chemar
1093 days ago
I agree with Bella...you are making more of this than you should, and you would likely lose your boyfriend if you talked to this other guy about it.

Feeling attracted to other people, even strongly and in sexual dreams, is normal. But acting on those feelings when you are in a committed relationship, even by opening the door to it through "talking to him about it....." is playing with fire that is likely to burn you!



savemylove
1092 days ago
I in no way want to act on these feelings. I love my fiance. I just thought maybe talking about it would make them go away? I just want them to stop.



bella
1092 days ago
This kind of situation is one of the secret fantasies for many people. If you talk about it, this will be the equivalent of verbal foreplay IMO. It would also be very awkward anytime you see each other in the future. Lets say the same thing was happening to your fiance with one of your friends - would you think its fine to discuss the dreams with your friend privately? What do you think this friend would say? Talking about them to him will only ignite a fire, unless he has superior morals.