Avatar Posted by LostFoundThenLostAgain 33 days ago (Question)
I am so confused as to where I go from here. My childrens father and I were together for 8 years, then were split up for 5. We stayed respectful of one another and in the back of our minds still had some feelings for eachother but never let them out. He has always been a wonderful father who takes great care of our 2 children ages 9 and 7. Neither one of us have children with anyone else. We both went our separate ways in relationships. I had a 2 year long relationship that didnt last and he was engaged to a woman. That also didnt last. We recently had some very hard times in both of our lives and have grown closer to one another. He moved into my home because of his financial burdens (which I didnt mind)and since then we havent made any set plans on being together again but have discussed it and are again lovey dovey with eachother. It feels like old times with him again and I am completely happy. However, today he broke some really very hard news for me to take. He has told me that he dated a girl for a short time and she is pregnant with his child. I am completely mortified and distraught over this news. I am visibly torn up and cannot stop crying. He has asked me what I want to do now about us possibly being together again and I am lost. I want to be with him but cant seem to grasp the concept of him having another child with another woman. Should I try and stay strong and support him being a father to another child or should I leave? Im not necessarily looking for an answer but some helpful advice or a good word from someone with a non biased opinion might help lead me to what I should do. Please help




Answers

Written by bellacutie 33 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Let me first say I give you both alot of credit for being civil to one another when you were split up. Were you married to him before - not that it's relevent at all. I also think you're very compassionate for letting him move back in for financial reasons. I assume he's not involved with the girl in question anymore - right?

Since before he was even engaged to a woman - you knew that he was getting emotionally and physically attached to other women. I think if you both still have strong feelings for one another - I think you should be strong and support him accepting responsibility for this child. It's sounds like this was an unexpected pregnancy. It doesn't mean he still has feelings for her. You would have his loyalty and all she would be getting is his support for their child. He deserves credit for being honest.

If you both still have deep feelings for one another - you shouldn't allow it to be an obstable. Please take some deep breaths and don't make any decision until you've calmed down. Since he is an honorable man and takes care of his children, it's natural he'll do that for this child. I don't think he'll ever find a better woman than you though. That's my honest objective opinion. Best of luck to you both, hugs Bella

Written by Clyde 32 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

You ask for a nonbiased opinion--it sounds like you really dont want to hear anything other than what you want us to tell you (what you want to hear).

Give it time, at least till you are calmed down and have heard about what has been going in with that relationship.

Dont make any rush judgments. I dont agree with the cheating and the baby, necessarily, but at the same time, if you rush it, you may regret it too.

Best,

Clyde

Written by bellacutie 32 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

^^^^

This girlfriend and pregnancy happened when they were separated(this wasn't cheating). He only recently moved back - this was a recent girlfriend of his.

**Just a friendly note:)**


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