My husband suffers from major depression, generalized anxiety, OCD, ADD, and one fetish. He has a long family genetic history on both side of the tree and he been in treatment for more than 25 years. He is 49. He is medicated and in therapy.
He was married for 6 years, more than 10 years ago. His ex wife lied to him and cheated on him and it ended their marriage. They have one child together.
He, on occasion, calls me her name, never during an argument. If he is filling out a form that asks for his wife's information he, on occassion, puts hers. We have been together for 4 years/married for 2. He continues to pay some of her bills for her. He has given her, in excess, more than $30,000 more than he is obligated to. He continued to pay her mortgage for her, paid off her car so she wouldn't have a payment, etc. He (up until I insisted) paid her share of their daughters expenses. He doesn't ever buy her gifts...he just pays most of her expenses for her so she didn't have to work and can buy her own. Since the split he still wanted her at all family events. When we began dating he wanted her to travel on family vacations with us at his expense. He wanted her to come celebrate the Christmas Holiday (2 1/2days) at my home with us. I said no, she's jewish. He has told me that "she needs him, to take care of her". She has a degree from UCLA and two strong legs. He told me "that it's his money, and if he wants to spend it on her that's his choice". Although he said both statements in anger his action completely support the statments. He does not consult me when she calls and asks for extra money he just gives it to her. He never asks for a statement/bill/receipt. He has promised to discuss it with me going forward. He saved his wedding ring, all their pictures, including naked ones of his ex. When I made it clear the naked pictures upset me....it took one year and marriage counselor to advise him that my "feelings" were more important than his "memories". He mentions her often and has said "you have no idea how often natural thoughts of her come to me and I don't share them with you because I know they hurt you'. They have been divorced for 10 years. There were many women in between us in the 6 years they were divorced before we got together. He says he has no unresolved feelings for her and that I am completely irrational and jealous.
Could their be some psychological explaination to his attachement?
Notice: Psych Central Answers shut down to new questions on January 11, 2013.
Looking for a place to ask your question? Sign up today for our community (you'll need a separate account than the one you use here), and ask away!
Ask and answer questions about mental health and relationship issues in a safe & supportive environment. If you ask a question, you will have to answer someone else's first, in order to give back to others here.