Avatar Posted by cobrala 413 days ago (Question)
I have been married to the only woman I have ever loved and only woman I want to love for 6 years. We dated 2 years before marriage. My wife has *NEVER* initiated sex. Let me repeat that for all who's reading: she has ***NEVER*** initiated sex. She gets frustrated me with talking in any sexual manner whatsoever. She dislikes it if I touch her in any manner sexually and *tolerates* me if I touch her in a non-sexual manner. She has no history of any physical or sexual abuse, except emotional abuse from her mother. I have told her in anger and in love how distant and neglected I feel. I have asked her to read books or go to counceling. It is AS IF she refuses to change or try to make matters better because she knows that I do not consider divorce an option (call me old fashioned). I can't tell you all how many opinions I've read and how many things I've tried but I'm getting to the point where I don't know what options remain. I will NOT divorce but I am unhappy and my wife does not put ANY effort into this AT ALL (you think I'm kidding with my colorful wording... I'm NOT let me tell you). It's as if my only option remaining that I have not tried is to find a mistress and I'd be the biggest ass to do such a thing. :(


Answers

Written by shakeyd 412 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hello, I appreciate the fact that you still love her regardless. Stop showing so much about wanting sex and she will eventually wonder why and maybe she will the one to initiate it. Only getting a mistress will complicate matters further and does not do any thing but cause you to have more resentment that leads to more pain and destruction in a marriage. If you love her, find other ways for affection or do you have to have sex? I feel like if you have to look somewhere else for sex then you need to get out of the marriage first. Will she go to a counselor? Maybe they can help. First show genuine affection and not trying to show affection just for that reason, then usually the sex will happen. You must have knew this before you married her that she never initiated sex. When you said "I do" it was for better or worse. I don't think cheating is the answer.

Written by Clyde 412 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I agree with Shakey. Perhaps you show much interest in sex that she is wondering if that is all that you are interested in with her, instead of a real, committed relationship.

Find ways to show how you care and how you love her. Sex is great, yes, but it is not the whole relationship.

Do not cheat at all--it will just make the whole thing worse.

Best,

Clyde


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