Hello. I think I may have Schizophrenia, but I am not sure. I experience many violent mood swings, which have caused me to lose friends over the years. I am very anti-social; in social situations I feel awkward, embarassed, and very very stressed out. I do not like people, and I try to stay away from them. I don't have many friends. The main thing that bugs me is that I feel that I have to obey this "outside person." I don't know what/who they are, but I feel that if I don't obey them, then they will hurt me. I have always had a fear of getting sick, and so i feel that if I don't obey them, they will make me sick. Because of this, I have to repeat the words "I won't get sick" over and over in my head, because it is what "they" want. And this sounds silly, but I also believe that they will make me "stupid" if I don't repeat "I will always be smart" over and over in my head. I have tried to convince myself that this person isn't real, but some part of me says that they are real. Having to repeat these things over and over gets in the way of my life, and it is very very annoying. Sometimes, in the middle of conversations, or even presentations at school, I have to stop and repeat these words in my head. It is embarassing, and I am sure the other people think I am weird. I have felt a major loss of interest for my fishing, which is my favorite hobby. I am also feeling pretty depressed right now, because it just never stops. I told my friend that I have Schizophrenia, but he didn't really pay any attention to it. I am scared, and I don't know what to do. Please give suggestions. Thanks.
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