I've been having trouble lately. I suffer from PTSD and events have occoured recently to trigger flashbacks and unwanted thoughts, and plenty of anxiety.
It's been over a week, since it happened, and I'm still having some residual fear. But what worries me more is I've been told I have schizophrenia, and I've been off medication for it since I was discharged from the psych hospital 2 months ago. I was taking Haldol, which gave me bad side effects, then they tried me on Moban, which made me sleep for 2 or 3 days. They discharged me and when I got home I never took the pills again.
I was living with a roommate and I yelled at him when I was discharged, and said some really scary things to him, and he left the house after telling me he wanted me to move out. So I moved back in with my parents.
I feel okay here for the most part. But other than staying with a good friend and her family occasionally, (They know of my condition and know how to deal with it, her parents work with mentally ill and handicapped people) I haven't left my house. At all. I won't go outside unless at night. I don't like people to see me.
But recently, I haven't been sleeping at night, instead talking to a voice I hear. For hours he will talk to me and it gets in the way of me sleeping. I try to sleep for hours, and never fall asleep until 5 or 6 AM. I've been sleeping enough, when I do get to sleep I don't wake up until about 7 to 9 hours later, so I usually wake up in the afternoons.
I don't bathe often, or clean, and I would go all day and night without eating, if it weren't for my mother cooking me dinner. And I can barely eat it, I feel like there's something in my body that doesn't want food.
I was seeing something that now that I told my mom about it, wasn't real. I saw myself standing on my ceiling a few nights ago. And it dissapeared, then black footprints walked on the ceiling to the wall and came at me. I was terrified.
I've been having crazy thoughts. Thoughts I don't want in my head, and I have to punch myself in the head to stop them, or quiet them a bit. I go in and out of feeling okay to really suicidal, from fear/guilt of the thoughts I have.
I'm worried and think I'm getting sick again. I wondered what I should do. I don't have a therapist anymore, and I don't have a psychiatrist. And I feel okay now, but I think "Oh I feel better, I don't have to worry anymore." Then every few hours I get so suicidal feeling that I really want to strangle myself, or cut myself.
Just wondered what would be best to do if those feelings come back. I'm not as worried about if I'm having hallucinations again. I just don't know what to do when I get suicidal.
Thanks, and sorry this was so long.
It's been over a week, since it happened, and I'm still having some residual fear. But what worries me more is I've been told I have schizophrenia, and I've been off medication for it since I was discharged from the psych hospital 2 months ago. I was taking Haldol, which gave me bad side effects, then they tried me on Moban, which made me sleep for 2 or 3 days. They discharged me and when I got home I never took the pills again.
I was living with a roommate and I yelled at him when I was discharged, and said some really scary things to him, and he left the house after telling me he wanted me to move out. So I moved back in with my parents.
I feel okay here for the most part. But other than staying with a good friend and her family occasionally, (They know of my condition and know how to deal with it, her parents work with mentally ill and handicapped people) I haven't left my house. At all. I won't go outside unless at night. I don't like people to see me.
But recently, I haven't been sleeping at night, instead talking to a voice I hear. For hours he will talk to me and it gets in the way of me sleeping. I try to sleep for hours, and never fall asleep until 5 or 6 AM. I've been sleeping enough, when I do get to sleep I don't wake up until about 7 to 9 hours later, so I usually wake up in the afternoons.
I don't bathe often, or clean, and I would go all day and night without eating, if it weren't for my mother cooking me dinner. And I can barely eat it, I feel like there's something in my body that doesn't want food.
I was seeing something that now that I told my mom about it, wasn't real. I saw myself standing on my ceiling a few nights ago. And it dissapeared, then black footprints walked on the ceiling to the wall and came at me. I was terrified.
I've been having crazy thoughts. Thoughts I don't want in my head, and I have to punch myself in the head to stop them, or quiet them a bit. I go in and out of feeling okay to really suicidal, from fear/guilt of the thoughts I have.
I'm worried and think I'm getting sick again. I wondered what I should do. I don't have a therapist anymore, and I don't have a psychiatrist. And I feel okay now, but I think "Oh I feel better, I don't have to worry anymore." Then every few hours I get so suicidal feeling that I really want to strangle myself, or cut myself.
Just wondered what would be best to do if those feelings come back. I'm not as worried about if I'm having hallucinations again. I just don't know what to do when I get suicidal.
Thanks, and sorry this was so long.
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Answers
Hi there, I am...
You definitely do sound like you are having another psychotic relapse. I would most definitely seek help again about this, and let your therapist know.
Without getting help, it is almost IMPOSSIBLE to know what you would do when and if you became suicidal again.
Best,
Clyde