Avatar Posted by raitlin 1970 days ago (Question)
i self-injure to achieve clarity i am in an abusive household i was raped by my father and have seen him commit this same action to another women my father has also threaten me and tried to kill me on several occasions my mom has MS and well she gets sick and drinks with her meds and abuses me mostly emotionally then it was really physical and i talked to cps and they didnt believe me anyways basically everyone in my life whom ive trusted has taken advantage of me because they know stuff about my including my friends and my shrink who yells at me and has almost hit me in therapy touched my inappropriately in therapy and well yeah... everyone has basically turned their back to me and in addition to this i get really bad flashbacks of memories i mean ill be doing french homework and ill be reminded of a memory to the point sometimes that im there im in it im reliving it and sometimes it feels like im wearing a masks that i can just be whomever i need to be and i get confused a lot and i get bad headaches i dont lose time or anything but when i get really stressed or freaked out i kinda turn off like my body cant take it and i fall on the ground and i cant move and just kinda go on pause i guess and sometimes i get weird mood swings i dunno im confused
does this sound like schizophrenia or something else or nothing at all??


Answers


helpmydeath
1969 days ago
Wow, you've been through so much. This doesn't sound like schizophrenia, but it does sound serious. Is it possible for you to go to a doctor without someone finding out? If so, do so immediatly. Tell the doc how you've been feeling, the flashbacks you have, and how your body shuts down.

About your parents abusing you... that isn't okay. You absolutely have to get out of your house, as hard as that is. Call a family shelter service, the cops, an anonymous helpline, a teacher at school, someone. As for your shrink not being trustworthy, stop going. Get another therapist, because they can be a tremendous help if they're good, I know this from experiance.

Self-harm.... That's a hard one. I deal with self-injury too and i know it's so hard. It is important you get help for this, but right now, your other problems are more life threatening.

Okay, honey. The main thing is, you HAVE to tell someone. An adult that won't take advantage of you. If you have no one around you that you think is trustworthy, then call a helpline. If you don't have numbers for any helplines, search the web. Type in something like 'Child abuse helplines' etc. Tell them everything, they will listen and help you to the best of their abilities. They will also provide help getting out of your house and info about what the problem is and why you have flashbacks and your body shuts down.

Best of luck, please let us know how everything goes.

Leanne.
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drjean
1969 days ago
Raitlin, that does sound like a hard life. It is not surprising to me that you use self harming behavior to try and cope, try to have something you do have control over! Once you have some security, and help with control of other things in your life, this symptom will alleviate. Be sure to do this safely, if you must do it. Clean the area, and whatever you use etc. If you can, try using a red marker with full feelings of intent; this has helped many who need to experience what they do from self harm, but are trying to not hurt themselves more.

It sounds like you have many things that trigger you into thinking or remembering how abused you have been.

Since you have already tried some authorities that should be there to help you, I suggest that you begin to document what is happening. Get one notebook and keep date and time, who did or said what. If you can also put in what was going on or being said prior to the abuse, that would help. Even if you did something you feel would be considered "wrong" keep track, as that helps to validate your issue.

Has someone diagnosed you with schizophrenia, or something of that nature? Why would you suggest this dx rather than say, PTSD, or a personality disorder I wonder?

Finally, do you have a favorite teacher that you can begin to talk with? A school counselor perhaps? Once you have a book full of documentation, that is who to let read and discuss some of the issues ,and go from there. TC

drjean
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Clyde
1969 days ago
Have you reported the T to the local licensing board or at least to his boss?

Be careful with your self-harm. Please be sure to be as "healthy" with it as you can.

I agree with Jean...try and keep track of what has happened. You will at least have a documentation of what is going on.

Is there anyone IRL you can talk with to help you with your feelings?

Please keep in touch!
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